Jessica's Blog

I've been gone for a while.  I honestly thought about just letting my blog die the slow lingering death of not being kept up.  Truthfully a big part of it was due to pretty hateful comments.  I think someone got me confused for someone else (at least from the final comment they left.. at least hopefully the final comment.)  Good to know bigotry is alive and well in America. Thank you very much.

I meant to write about the wonderful family adventure we had in a rented 30 ft RV the last two weeks of the year.  I meant to write about "what one should know before renting an RV" and all the funny stuff that comes to pass when two adults, three kids and a dog decide to live on the road for that long.

I meant to write about my beautiful children.  Big Boy skipping sizes completely, but needing a belt in size slim.  Honey Girl finding her feet and growing strong  in gymnastics (this has been the missing key to her self awareness!!), and Little Lady blowing me away with her wit, beauty, smile and EVERYTHING about her.  About Hubby and how we as a family continue to adjust to being part of a very large company now (gratefully!) seem to always have something to fill out, e-mails to read, or trainings to plan for.

I meant to write about the tangles of pain in my extended family:  About a mother's mental illness and alcoholism combined with her extreme pain that still exists from her broken ankle over a year ago debilitating her,  about a dad and mom who seemed to have blown away in the wind once my grandfather died, but have decided it's time to come back,  about an aunt who decided to shoot up that one last fatal time. I wasn't informed until over a week later.

I of course meant to write about this remarkable transition occurring in our country; about my gratitude and renewed patriotism.  Also about what adjustments we may make in this failing economy.  Change is never easy.  Things do get worse before they get better.

I can say I've been busy with work.  That's true.  I can say I've been knitting or reading instead of writing and it's true.  I can say I've been so exhausted at the end of the day that my fingers simply would not type in complete sentences.  That's true too.   Deeper though, I've just not been feeling like sharing my life much.  I never started this blog to get comments or links or hits.  I have not added advertisements or causes (YET!!).  I don't even have a central theme or cause as a focus.  I got into this due to my husband's wish to help me make my journaling easier, more efficient; dare I say TECHY.  I needed (still need) some time to rethink this blog and what it means to me, what is does for me.  The verdict is still out.  I may well make a more private blog in which I write hard core nitty gritty naked writing that can be invite only.  I may keep this blog as a more "public persona" where I link in to things with a more diplomatic  cautious air.

For those of you who blog, have you had a blogger identity crisis?  How "naked" do you write?  Do you feel somewhat inhibited?  Do you keep a more private journal elsewhere for the more private stuff or are you truly transparent?  How do you wade thru the storms of spam comments and crap from the toxic yahoos?

Maybe not so new an idea, but I'll throw it outthere and will likley use it this year.

 

http://www.heifer.org

 

Give a family the means to sustain itself.

You Know You're From Silicon Valley When...
Your combined household income is $140,000 and you can't afford shoes for the kids

You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric, but can't get it in your neighborhood

You know what DSL stands for

You and your spouse almost come to blows deciding to hit Peet's or Starbucks

You think that American food includes sushi, naan, pho, pesto and pad thai

You met your neighbors once

When asked about your commute you answer in time, not distance

Even though you work 80 hours per week on a computer, for relaxation you read your email and peruse eBay

You have worked at the same job for a year and people call you an 'old-timer'

The T-shirts you value most were for products that never made it to market

You can name four different programming languages and you are not a programmer

You remember the names of the three closest cheap sushi joints, the location of all the Fry's in the area and which companies your friends work for that are going public in the next year, but don't know the name of the mayor

Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don't call a head hunter

You work 6 miles from your home and spend two hours a day commuting and $40 a week on gas

Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and summer is when it dies

The median price of a house is $500,000...for 1200 sq. ft. with no yard because it's a town house

You live on some of the richest farm land in the world but most of what you eat comes from South America on a boat

Your best friend lives across town but you hardly ever see each other because after your commute you're too pooped to spend another hour driving to their home

You have a master's degree in engineering but half the people in your department either didn't go to college or have history degrees, except if you have a master's from Stanford, in which case everyone in your department has a master's degree from Stanford

You cringe when you see people in suits at your office, wondering if someone in management will make you stop wearing bunny slippers

You plan your vacation so that you don't have to drive back from the airport in commute hours

You don't go to sporting events unless you are given tickets by your employer

You could sell your home and live like a king in 99% of the rest of the world, but don't because it would be difficult to move back.

You have at least three computers at home.

You own at least one domain on the Internet, probably several.

You think it's normal to see chip-design software or relational databases advertised on freeway billboards.

You know that California isn't just one big beach.

You know that not everyone in California surfs.

You know there's lots of skiing in California.

You know your rotating outage block number at home and at work, and listen for them whenever there are rolling blackouts.

If someone refers to "SunnytogaDeAnzavale Road", you laugh and know what they're talking about.

You take your out-of-town friends to see the techie gadgets at Fry's. But you don't let them buy anything.

You know how to recognize re-sealed returned electronics at Fry's.

You don't ask the staff any questions at Fry's. You know they hire idiots and pass the savings on to you.

You watch dot-com boomers go back to the states they came from, and the traffic gets better by the month. But you are home so you're not moving.

You own a Sport Utility Vehicle and have never taken it off-road. You wouldn't know what to do if you tried. Same with all your friends.

You don't know how to drive in snow. You're a road hazard when you visit the mountains.

You think the horn and middle finger are essential driving tools.

You think bicycles don't belong on the road.

You think any car ahead of you doesn't belong on the road.

Your out-of-state friends are impressed at how much money you make... until you tell them how much you pay for housing.

You know that a "fixer-upper" home could cost a half-million dollars.

You do a "California stop" at stop signs. And you think it's only Californians who call them that.

You aren't bothered much by earthquakes because you're ready for them. But the thought of tornadoes and hurricanes terrifies you.

You clearly remember where you were when the Loma Prieta quake hit.

You know several funny stories about swimming pools in the quake.

You can't recognize a thunderstorm without seeing lightning first.

You cringe when a Southern Californian refers to highways like "the 101". It's just "101". No "the".

You call low clouds "fog" even if they're hundreds of feet off the ground.

At least once you have gone to San Francisco for the day wearing shorts and a t-shirt because it was a warm clear day in San Jose. And you froze your little *@#!% off in the fog, drizzle and wind.

Too Funny!

Too True!

 

 

Of course we had a great time!  My usual plug for Greenhorn Creek Guest Ranch here.  We played.  We rode.  We made a wreath.  We decorated a tree.  We ate.  We vegged.  we line danced(or I did).  We sang.  We laughed.  We got cold. We got lots of hugs and enjoyed our time with the Greenhorn Gang.  We rodeoed.  Big Boy slipped on an icy bridge and fell square on his butt.  He also bonded with Fancy such that she lowered her head to nudge and give him lovies on their last day out together.  He completed his first bionicle and enjoed showing it to Sara.  Honey Girl charmed, wowed, and entertained us all every day and a night in spite of her nasty cough (she's now on anti-biotics for the first time in her life).  She danced, climbed on the boughs in the saloon, sipped shirley temples, demded to ride the wagon without Mom and Dad, and rocked our worlds.  Little Lady captivated us with her quiet strength and ninja stealth at stalking the rooster.  She loved making folks laugh with her "skakabooty" move.  She bonded with Miranda.  We got our first *good* all of us family pic in a long time.  Well, almost.... Honey Girl was sulking because she wanted to be gathering boughs and not taking a pic.  But we got close!!

 

 

 

www.flickr.com

http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/repealprop8

http://californiansagainsthate.com/dishonorRoll.html

http://jointheimpact.com/

cool rally poster quote: Bigotry- not very Christ like.

Remember how hard fought integration was?

How hard fought voting rights were?

How about organized labor and the 5 day work week?

Doing away with child labor?

interracial marriage?

And yes.... the big bane: slavery

There are still legal documents in neighborhoods nearby that state that property is not to be sold to .

I am glad to hear the courts will hear these cases.  I would love to hear how they would justify removing a right already given, and altering a constitution to allow for discrimination on a simple "silent majority" vote.

Can you imagine if the above social changes were left to a majority vote?

 

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 Concentrate on this Sentence

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never
did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you,
but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate
on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace
of God will not protect you.' Something good will happen to you today;
something that you have been waiting to hear.

The Prop 8 passing is something that continues to sit on my mind.  In looking at national news reports and blogs, I know I am not alone.  The stories I am hearing from friends and neighbors add to my unrest.  That prop put a serious black eye on the image of California.

A neighbor of mine was getting calls to her house (that she shares with her partner and her son) in spanish telling her to vote yes on 8.  In spanish, the robocall spewed out all the same lies that were so skeemingly plotted into so many minds.  Family members of hers tell her, "It's okay, honey... you can still have your civil union."  Her eyes well up as we talk about her carrying papers around in her wallet so if something should happen to her, her partner will be able to see her and make decisions for her in a hospital.  Hmmm.... carry papers?  Where have we heard that before?   Should we ask our LGBT friends and neighbors to wear pink triangles on their coats? 

How can this be right?  Actually is it PAINFULLY politically "RIGHT" , the politics of division for power but so very WRONG!! 

On Sunday I went to the Billy DeFrank LGBT Community Center for a meeting.  There were hundreds in attendance.  I went because I wanted to know, "Well, what now?"  I was surprised the many neighbors I did NOT see there.  I was heartened by the people I recognized who were there like me: Straight (parents too!) and against 8.  The meeting was intense.  The meeting was full of both hope and hurt.

There were some things said that I found to be the truest heart of our LGBT community.  First and foremost, the ability to look forward and keep on truckin'.  Two organizers at Billy DeFrank are a lesbian couple living across the street from a Mormon couple with two young kids.  They taught this family how to garden.  They have shared meals.  After the election, the Mormons apologetically shrugged that they were required by their church to give money to prop 8/ vote for prop 8, and they didn't feel they had a choice.  Now, these women who have been getting death threats due to their fight against prop 8 did not respond in anger or spite.  They breathe deep and they know the greatest gift they have given is for these girls they are neighbors to.  These young girls are growing up seeing and knowing two women who live together and love each other; who are not freaks, are not out to kill them or kill their religion or sense of morality.  A woman stood to speak.  She pulled her husband up next to her and her voice shook.  She apologized.  She admitted she was the base that was targeted, and she had no idea just what it meant to be for prop 8 and had come to ask forgiveness and to see what she could do to turn the tide back in the right direction.  She was in tears.  She received hugs from four different people near her.

It was said to the crowd NOT to buy into the blame.  The Mormon and Catholic money mongers ran a slick campaign and would love to divide us all by pointing the finger at Blacks and Latinos.  Monortity LGBT spoke that they (like most of us) were so focused on the Obama campaign, they didn't add their voice to fight prop 8; they didn' think it could pass.  There was an acknowledgement that we all need to be strong for all of the young LGBTs out there in friendly or not friendly counties desperate for hope.  The news truck had arrived outside and wanted access, and we were all told to be the example of grace and poise.  This fight has only begun, let's not lose allies thru anger. They commenced a march thru downtown, I got a text that the kids were up from their naps, was I coming home?

Tonight was a peaceful candleight vigil.  I brought the kids.  We joined others and made a big sign that said in big bold letters simply "No Hate".  Big Boy held it and danced when he would get honked at. We stayed for about and hour.  The only jeers were from big huge massive souped up pick up trucks.  What is with that?  I imagine that can go into a rant post some other day.

While making the signs we talked again about prop 8 and the civil liberties all people are entitled too.  Yes I told my kids about gay marriage and more importantly about LOVE.  I told my kids that their grandparents' marriages were illegal in some states without a fight.  We've had this talk more than once already.  And yes, we do go to church.  Our church told us about the candlelight vigil to attend to support our LGBT community members.  

As we were out there, the kids making friends with other kids, dancing with glow sticks, I had the resounding justification of why I was there and why my children were there.  This is an issue of human rights.  This has nothing to do with marriage, and all to do with discrimination.  This was not something to be left to a popular vote.

So I'm going to step out there and say it:  If you haven't spoken to someone about prop 8, have that difficult discussion.  IF they are for 8 ask why.  If they say it's wrong, ask why.  Ask what would happen if Gays could marry.... keep asking "and then....?"  More often than not, folks realize it's all a rouse and sham of fear tactics, control and division. Clo Hampton wrote a letter to the editor in today's Merc that had a Ghandi quote in it I felt was far too fitting:  "I like your Christ.  I do not like your Christians, your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

I wasn't sure how to go about this post.  I'm sure it's disorganized.  I wasn't going to write it, but then checked in with my leftcoastmom and decided to just write the darned thing.

Thanks Melanie, for this clip:

 

I mean c'mon!  Who is going to help the many many elderly for whom this clip applies?  I snarfed a good few times tho... and sent it to my mom with apologies that it reminds me of her.... sometimes.

There are a lot of haters out there.  Funny thing. 

I've decided to not feed the troll.  I know the troll is there.  I know it's ugly.  I know it loves hate, fear, division.  It feeds on negativity, name calling, barriers, and ignorance like candy.  It's ego.  It's fear.  It's insecurity.  The troll can stay under the bridge and decide being a troll is a pretty miserable existance, or it will wither and waste away from lack of food, growing more and more bitter, yet weaker over time.

Then I remember what I read today: We  must learn actually not to have enemies,
but  only confused  adversaries who are ourselves in disguise- Alice Walker

While I woudl love to be more enlightened and compassionate... I do kind of wish (because I'm human) the troll would just have a quick little something to remove itself from the gene pool.

It's time for unity.  We are all Americans.  The more of us that say this in word, thought, and deed, the better off this country will be.  I know it's been a while since we were all Americans, but let's just give is a shot, ok?

Don't feed the troll!

 

Hubby sent me this link to Maureen Dowd's op-ed in the NY Times and my eyes got misty.

IT's a funny thing, I've been humming "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey.... Goodbye!" as well.  I did not know that the crowd in front of the White House was doing that!  I know that on 1/20/09 it will be my earwig.

I have loved every trip I've ever taken to Washington DC and I loved reading Dowd because she so elloquently and succinctly expressed so much of what I have been thinking of our capital city.  I now look forward, with great anticipation, to taking our family there (once Little Lady is out of diapres, I think).  To romp on the lawns, see the museums and monuments.  It is a new day in the that town and I know the energy there will be shifting in a whole new and different way.

Hubby has expressed interest in going to DC and I have said point blank, "Not during this administration" as the city really does take on a different flavor depending on who is in office.  Friends of my mother who live there have tactfully and carefully expressed the more conservative air.  Us vs. Them.  You're with us or against us.  You're American or Un- American. Security.

When I was a kid and went to DC, I remember so well being 6 years old and looking up at my dad and asking him why he was crying at the Lincoln memorial.  He tried to explain, and all he could say was "were it not for him, you would not be here today."  The museums were a marvel, I remember holding Dad's hand and having him explain to me everything he could about aeronautics, space, mummies....  Then again in high school and college I made trips to our capital with my sister (who attended Johns Hopkins.. a small train trip away), with my mother(during her conferences), with friends.  Once during the Bush Administration (the FIRST Bush). Other times during the Clinton administration.  It was so colorful and open and fun.  I studied at the Library of Congress.  I revisited the Lincoln memorial with a more keen awareness of our history.  I was struck dumb as tears came while walking through the Vietnam memorial on a cool autumn night. 

As we age the whole point of these memorials becomes so much more real.  And yet, just as Dowd wrote so well.... their presence seemed to make no difference recently.  Similar mistakes made.  History not studied.  Lessons refused to be learned from those before us.

You can see where I am going with this.  Let's all keep up the HOPE.  Keep up the WORK.  Keep up the knowing that what was sewn for 8 years will be reaped, not neccessarily by those who sewed those seeds... and we need to stick together and stick it out.  We can't expect the open gushing wounds of our country to heal for some time yet.  Let's work.  Let's be patient.

 

 

Welcome to California!  In this state we respect the peace, harmony, and happiness of our chickens moreso than we do of a segment of our tax paying, law abiding, citizens.  For them, it has been voted that theyare not allowed to enter the sacred union of marriage.

My friends, this is discrimination, plain and simple.  There is no pussyfooting around it.  There is no other way to justify it.  When it is decided to actively alter a constitution in order to remove a civil right from one group of people that is allowed to all other citizens regardless of race, creed or color: that is discrimination, and haven't we  had enough?

C'mon Californians.  The conquistadors killed off the indians.  The Chinese were systematically killed while building the railroads.  The Japanese and Italians were sent off to internment camps, losing most of their belongings/buisnesses/savings forever during WW2.  Chinese were not allowed to attend public schools in San Francisco. Inter-racial marriage was against the law.  Mexican crop workers were systematically exposed to high levels of pesticides and were deathly ill and were told to cope.  Let's not re-enter this maddness of hatred and fear.  The state will soon divorce all gay couples that have married?  Can you imagine if all marriages between Blacks were nullified?  Between Asians?  Between Hispanics?  There needs to be a stop to this tendency of ours to need a people, a group of Americans, to opress. 

We know why this prop passed.  Lots and lots of money and footwork in neighborhoods on the part of Mormons from Utah (a group with excellent ethics on how to treat their own.. not!)  spreading **surprise*** fear tactics and misinformation.  People were told their children would be taught about gay sex and marriage in schools.  Lie.  People were told that their churches would lose their tax exempt status unless they taught gay marriage or allowed gay marriage.  Lie.   People were told they would not be allowed to protest what their children are taught in schools.  Lie.

No one is asking anyone to believe in gay marriage.  No one is asking anyone to have a spiritual liking of gay marriage.  Honest to goodness, you can be as homophobic as Limbaugh and still be against prop 8.  Well, maybe not.. he's all about taking liberties away from citizens....But this is where your personal beliefs and government policy need to be separate. What if your child/grandchild/brother/sister/cousin/auntie/uncle/niece/nefew/FRIEND fell in love and wanted to be committed to one person the rest of their life?  This is to be celebrated!  Now, say that person is of the same sex.  Would you be supportive with one hand and view them as a non-person on ther other (well, if you were Cheney you would)?  What would you do when they said they couldn't see their partner in the ER because they are not considered family?  What would you do if your loved one's partner died and the partner's family came in and sold the house out from under your loved one and look a shared retirement account because there is no lawful understanding of their relationship?

 When you chose to do good works in this life, does removing liberties from another count?

I am passionate about this because 1) haven't we had enough 2) no matter what I may feel about Gays, I refuse to vote for any kind of legislation that is out and out built from the ground up in order to alienate, ostracise, degrade, or demean any group of tax-paying, law-abiding citizens.

http://www.petitiononline.com/seg5130/petition.html

 

 

Yes, I cried.  Not as much as I thought I would. If only Grandpa could see this.

But yes.  When I went upstairs to tell Big Boy the news, his face lit up causing my eyes to well up. "By a LOT??" he said. "Yes, Baby, by a lot." I said, eyes wet, smiling in the light of his nightlight.  "No McCain?"  he asked  "No, No McCain."  Then he sat up and hugged me.  "Mom?  I would STILL like to donate my allowance to him.  He worked so hard."  My babies have one of their own as president.  Not sure if folks truly understand what that is like.  Not a rap star, not a ball player, not a dead assassinated agent of change from generations ago.  To have such an amazing role model behooving us all to do better, be better, to live in service, that every voice counts, that every voice matters, that change is hard work.

Then I told him we have a lot of work to do.  This is only the beginning, and we have a lot of ugliness to move on from. He knows no different, really.  I only had a glimpse of different in my early adulthood.  But we can.  oh Yes we can.

The donations were so worth it.

The phonebanking was so worth it.  Man, that was hard, but so worth it.  The honest and fervent discussions even when they were less than "cool".

Long ago Michelle Obama was slapped hard for saying her husband makes her proud to be an American.  I felt her then and I feel her now.  My hope is that in the future when I travel over borders, being called and American won't be an insult.  I have long wished to feel pride in the American flag.  I'm getting there. 

Our phone has been ringing off the hook with my family. 

Thank you Dave, for your texts.  Got me all weepy all over again.

Today I watched in sadness as two big white guys in a big pickup truck in Campbell flipped off and gunned their engine at two Hispanic boys standing at a corner holding up home made Obama for Change, honk for Obama 08 signs. So sad.  So very sad.  Here, in Silicon Valley Ca.  I can't imagine elsewhere.

We have (as has always been the case) a lot of work to do.  It will not be easy.  It will not be fast.  But I will do all I can so we can continue to become a country more and more each day that looks beyond the color of someone's skin, and to the content of one's character.  That's just how I've been raised.

 So OH DEAR GOD COULD WE PLEASE NEVER TALK TO JOE THE PLUMBER AGAIN!?!?!?!?

I can't hang in with this much longer.  My heart sank to the floor and lower when I got word that Toot (Obama's grandma) passed away in her sleep last night.  It sank further knowing he didn't get woken up to be told the news, as his camp knows too well how imperative rest must be at this point in the endgame.  She didn't get to live to see the day, regardless the result.

Tonight Big Boy said he wanted to donate his allowance to Barrack Obama.  In a stunned trying to play it calm and cool moment I asked him why. and he said simply, "Well, it's very clear it takes a whole lot of money and support to fight to be a good president."

And no, Hubby and I don't talk about campaign donations or money or the campaign with the kids.  I've only listened to our local news station from time to time with the kids in the car, as they want to listen to XM Kids!  They know I went and did phone bank.  Their grandparents talk (Especially Grandma Margi) about it when they visit (or in GM case, bring stickers, books about Obama, songs... etc)... and fer OMG are ya kiddin me?!!?!sakes, people are now approaching us in public saying he looks like a young Obama!!! WTF!?!  At Safeway on Sunday an old lady walked up to Big Boyand said, "Does your Daddy look like our next president?" and Big Boy looked at Hubby and back at her as if she were nuts and said, "No..... our next president will be Barrack Obama" there were twitters amongst those in close proximity and the lady laughed and asked if "daddy looked like Barrack." and Big Boy said plainly, "No."

 I still do not know what will happen tomorrow.  But I do know people need to be patient in the lines, assertive when their vote is miscast, and tenacious when the going gets rough.

 

I try to find laughter, and Hubby made it easy for me again today by sending me this:

 

 

I've calmed down a lot since yesterday.  mostly because now I am exhausted form the whole Halloween Shabang.  Granted we get close to no trick or treaters here, but had a wonderful opportunity to sit out on the stoop and talk politics with the neighbors.  And nope, we didn't agree about a lot of stuff, which is really cool.

We did agree that 1) the McCain campaign is screwed. and 2) Palin will likely try to throw McCain under a bus to better her chances next time through.

I got many compliments on my Obama pumpkin.

Anyway.... Kids are asleep.  Cobwebs have been removed from the shrubbery, tombstones and strobelights are back in the garage, Hubby is gaming and here is my thoughless and politico-funny clip o' the day.  

Remember the Budweiser WASSSUUUUP commercials from "back in the day"?