Jessica's Blog

The Prop 8 passing is something that continues to sit on my mind.  In looking at national news reports and blogs, I know I am not alone.  The stories I am hearing from friends and neighbors add to my unrest.  That prop put a serious black eye on the image of California.

A neighbor of mine was getting calls to her house (that she shares with her partner and her son) in spanish telling her to vote yes on 8.  In spanish, the robocall spewed out all the same lies that were so skeemingly plotted into so many minds.  Family members of hers tell her, "It's okay, honey... you can still have your civil union."  Her eyes well up as we talk about her carrying papers around in her wallet so if something should happen to her, her partner will be able to see her and make decisions for her in a hospital.  Hmmm.... carry papers?  Where have we heard that before?   Should we ask our LGBT friends and neighbors to wear pink triangles on their coats? 

How can this be right?  Actually is it PAINFULLY politically "RIGHT" , the politics of division for power but so very WRONG!! 

On Sunday I went to the Billy DeFrank LGBT Community Center for a meeting.  There were hundreds in attendance.  I went because I wanted to know, "Well, what now?"  I was surprised the many neighbors I did NOT see there.  I was heartened by the people I recognized who were there like me: Straight (parents too!) and against 8.  The meeting was intense.  The meeting was full of both hope and hurt.

There were some things said that I found to be the truest heart of our LGBT community.  First and foremost, the ability to look forward and keep on truckin'.  Two organizers at Billy DeFrank are a lesbian couple living across the street from a Mormon couple with two young kids.  They taught this family how to garden.  They have shared meals.  After the election, the Mormons apologetically shrugged that they were required by their church to give money to prop 8/ vote for prop 8, and they didn't feel they had a choice.  Now, these women who have been getting death threats due to their fight against prop 8 did not respond in anger or spite.  They breathe deep and they know the greatest gift they have given is for these girls they are neighbors to.  These young girls are growing up seeing and knowing two women who live together and love each other; who are not freaks, are not out to kill them or kill their religion or sense of morality.  A woman stood to speak.  She pulled her husband up next to her and her voice shook.  She apologized.  She admitted she was the base that was targeted, and she had no idea just what it meant to be for prop 8 and had come to ask forgiveness and to see what she could do to turn the tide back in the right direction.  She was in tears.  She received hugs from four different people near her.

It was said to the crowd NOT to buy into the blame.  The Mormon and Catholic money mongers ran a slick campaign and would love to divide us all by pointing the finger at Blacks and Latinos.  Monortity LGBT spoke that they (like most of us) were so focused on the Obama campaign, they didn't add their voice to fight prop 8; they didn' think it could pass.  There was an acknowledgement that we all need to be strong for all of the young LGBTs out there in friendly or not friendly counties desperate for hope.  The news truck had arrived outside and wanted access, and we were all told to be the example of grace and poise.  This fight has only begun, let's not lose allies thru anger. They commenced a march thru downtown, I got a text that the kids were up from their naps, was I coming home?

Tonight was a peaceful candleight vigil.  I brought the kids.  We joined others and made a big sign that said in big bold letters simply "No Hate".  Big Boy held it and danced when he would get honked at. We stayed for about and hour.  The only jeers were from big huge massive souped up pick up trucks.  What is with that?  I imagine that can go into a rant post some other day.

While making the signs we talked again about prop 8 and the civil liberties all people are entitled too.  Yes I told my kids about gay marriage and more importantly about LOVE.  I told my kids that their grandparents' marriages were illegal in some states without a fight.  We've had this talk more than once already.  And yes, we do go to church.  Our church told us about the candlelight vigil to attend to support our LGBT community members.  

As we were out there, the kids making friends with other kids, dancing with glow sticks, I had the resounding justification of why I was there and why my children were there.  This is an issue of human rights.  This has nothing to do with marriage, and all to do with discrimination.  This was not something to be left to a popular vote.

So I'm going to step out there and say it:  If you haven't spoken to someone about prop 8, have that difficult discussion.  IF they are for 8 ask why.  If they say it's wrong, ask why.  Ask what would happen if Gays could marry.... keep asking "and then....?"  More often than not, folks realize it's all a rouse and sham of fear tactics, control and division. Clo Hampton wrote a letter to the editor in today's Merc that had a Ghandi quote in it I felt was far too fitting:  "I like your Christ.  I do not like your Christians, your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

I wasn't sure how to go about this post.  I'm sure it's disorganized.  I wasn't going to write it, but then checked in with my leftcoastmom and decided to just write the darned thing.

Thanks Melanie, for this clip: