Jessica's Blog

I've been doing a lot of work.

At the end of summer I really hit a rock bottom of sorts.  I cried when I ordered jeans for the dude ranch over the size that they had to be to encompass my post-baby rear end.  I was having health issues of thyroiditis.  This had happened after Honey Girl was born as well.  My heart would race, I'd sweat.  It sucked.  It made everything feel like a to-do list.  I was also suffering breast infections yet again.  I had suffered these with Big Boy and Honey Girl.  I was sick of them and didn't want them anymore.  I was sick of so much of it.  I decided to change.

I went to acupuncture for the breast infections and the thyroid issues.  I've always found that acupuncture should be my first resort, not my last, but I had to juggle some childcare in order to take the time to lie on a table with needles all over me.  It helped immensely.  The thyroid cleared up with no need for any meds and the breast infections have gone and not returned.  Little Lady has not had any formula since she was about 10 weeks old.  My pediatrician remarked on this at LL's six month appointment... it seems so long ago I was ordered to supplement and how sad I got.  I got over it!  Over using the formula, that is.

I was impatient with the baby weight.  Plain and simple.  Little Lady is my last baby and I was done looking like I had just had a baby.  So I've lost over 30 pounds and went from the post baby size 16 jeans a la "summer of frump" I so wrongly surrendered to,  to the size 8 jeans I'm in now.  I have to admit I love it when someone I don't know says, "You do NOT look like you just had a baby....".  Eat your veggies, get your exercise!

In October I had a blast doing the rock n roll half marathon and the Light the Night Leukemia walk with my friend Marcie.  I've spoiled myself with private pilates and that has been amazing.  A four-pack six months after a third cesarean?!?!  you betcha! ;-)  I hike a lot.  I don't run.  I do weights a bit.  I carry a six month old everywhere and wrestle a 3 and 5 yr old.  I tussle a bit with a 33yr old, but that's private.

I do feel rather transformed in so many good ways.  Yeah, I'm tired.. who wouldn't be with the family I have at the moment, but I feel so so SO much better.

I had to unplug during this whole process as well as the other blog post subject I just posted.  I simply needed time offline to work out stuff in most every aspect of my life.

We've decided (or I decided.. hubby wanted to do it months ago) to last minute ditch town and go to the dude ranch for Thanksgiving!  No big family dinners of trying to keep kids occupied or placated or talking them into eating something.  No sleep deprivation of trying to keep kids in their routines while traveling.  While I love to cook (boy do I cook a mean holiday meal), I had to come to grips with the reality that this year I would not be able to readily enjoy cooking just yet.  Little Lady would need my breasts, Honey Girl would likely be under my feet wanting to help, Big Boy too.  Hubby would be exhausted and stressed trying to help me by keeping them out of the kitchen.  Up at the ranch the kiddos can run free.  I can go for a ride and Hubby can sleep in or nap or walk with Little Lady and a bottle of fresh pumped milk. No dishes.  No cooking.  no bedtime.  Heck, maybe no baths?  But everyone can have a great time out in nature and with animals.

So things continue to meld for us.  I am loving life with three, although it is kind of kicking our butts.  I am reminded a little of Jolie's interview with Jon Stewart.  The smile on her face about her four kids as Jon Stewart marveled at her, as two were kicking his ass.... she laughed and said four were kicking theirs too, but it was great.

I don't feel as tired as I did when Honey Girl was six months age.  I don't feel as overwhelmed or lost in the identity of "mother" as I did when Big Boy was six months old.  I've gotten better at eking out time for myself here and there.  I've gotten much better about demanding (errr.. asking...begging...hiring?) help if I need it.

And yes, I am still in progress.  I'll share more as more comes down the pike.

cya