hard to not take personally
I am a beaten Mommy. My three year old son hits me, kicks me, says mean things to me. Oh the misery that is my life. If you cannot read the sarcasm,, you do not know me well enough.
But..... Holy Heck what is the deal with this combative boy ( or 3 year old toddler?) stuff? One minute "I love you momma... nosey nose?" (he asks me this to do an eskimo kiss... his favorite "Nosey-nose"). then next thing I know.... usually following a request like, "Hey Bud, let's get out of the car and go to the store." It becomes "I don't like you one bit, you are NOT my friend, you are a naught naughty guy!" Well folks, there you have it. I am a "naughty naughty guy.... OK?!?!?" Sometimes I am a "bully" but I gotta say most often I am "Unacceptable!"
Hubby just got back from putting Big Boy back to bed. He was found in the upstairs hallway naked from the waist down saying "I have trouble putting the diaper back on." Ha ha ha ha
It is hard sometimes. But not too much, really. Yes, it wears on the patience and I do wonder why am i the lucky one? Why does he chose to flip out on me and no one else? I am "the safe one"? Is it because I'm the momma? He doesn't dare hit/scratch/punch/ lick his dad or schoolmates. I figure he's testing out all this stuff on me to see how it flies. I gotta tell you, it doesn't fly well.
I called a friend to chat after I had banished Big Boy from the living room for pummeling his sis with train track. The new rule being: the living room is where we share, if you don't want to do this, you can play elsewhere... hallway, upstairs.. but not here. Anyway... friend mentioned if I were another friend of ours he'd have gotten smacked for such behavior. I just said "I have smacked him in the past... it didn't work."
There..... I admit it. I have before. I have smacked him a few times (I can count on just one hand... thank you... )that's how long it took me to realize it didn't work). It doesn't! Now. Yes, I do agree that it's all "wrong" for the demonstrating violence, the degrading, shaming, showing it's ok to lose control etc etc etc reasons.... that was why I would never do it BEFORE I ever did it. But then... I did it, and you know what? It didn't work. It never stopped the offending behavior and if anything.... it made the behavior more self-righteous. "I know you're gonna whoop me so I'm going to do this as MUCH as POSSIBLE before that hand swats my bum!" The of course I would have a residual guilt for losing control and swatting his bum and he would be pissed off more than "disciplined" so... ugh... it was pointless.
So what does work in disciplining my son through this hellacious time? Time with just him and me playing together, or reading a story together. Just some form of "Mommy and Big Boy time". Also....making every attempt to include him. IT's when he feels like more of a trail along he gets though to handle.
But honestly sometimes that doesn't even work. He's 3 now. It's just going to be tough for a bit. Honestly... it's all good because he says some of the sweetest stuff ever. I mean, really "Momma... let's do nosey-nose!" and the laughter.... also the wanting me to stay... read more...momma is still numero uno in the soothing department.
.. on it goes...