Jessica's Blog

I was eating breakfast and making phonecalls.  I was watching your big brother play and talking to him when it dawned on me that you weren't moving much.  I continued with my routine and listened in and tuned in to you.  You weren't moving.  I drank a glass of cranberry juice ( I rarely do that) and you didn't hop to it or dance like usual.  I was beginning to feel concerned.

A friend called and I mentioned it to her because she was a pregnancy specialist bodyworker.  She encouraged me to call Maria (the midwife).  I did.  I was told to go to Los Gatos Community Hospital for a stress test.

I called Melanie and caught her before she left to take Hannah to swim lessons.  She gladly skipped the lesson so I could drop your brother off with her so I could go get checked out.  I was hoping (praying actually) that I would be told that you were fine, I was fine and to go home and take it easy.  I told Big Boy I would be back in a bit and to be good and have fun with Hannah and Melanie.  Little did I know he would get picked up by your dad about six hours later.  I still feel bad about that.

I hopped into the Sentra and drove to the hospital, having a conversation with you the whole time.  "You there? Hang in there Baby Girl, c'mon little one, give me a kick... give me a roll."  I was beginning to worry, so naturally I just got quiet, breathed deeply and poked and poked and poked at you inside hoping to piss you off enough to kick at me or roll away from me.  You didn't.  I started talking to our guides to make sure you were okay, but knowing that if I was leaving Big Boy with a friend and driving a tad bit quickly to the hospital... you had asked for me to do so.  Thankfully LGCH was only 5 minutes away.

I was in touch with your dad.  I called him at work to tell him I was going in for a stress test, that your brother was in good hands, not to worry, all was fine...probably nothing.. you weren't "due" until Sept. 19th afterall.  He stayed at work, but wanted to know everything.

At the hospital i got all hooked up to machines, I heard your heart thumping away and relaxed a bit...I called your dad and put my cell phone near the machine so he could hear you too.... my blood pressure and everything were good, I wasn't having many contractions (as i had had a couple days before.. oooof!).  The nurses and OB techs were wonderful.  They agreed that you were not moving as much as they would like either.  I took a deep breath and waited for Maria to come in.  She checked on you by a rather vigorous pelvic exam to get you riled up.  As in... poking and poking at your head and shoving at you to wake you up.. but you didn't respond much.  While I recovered from the exam (Oh.My.GOD!) she pulled up a rocking chair and we had a talk.  She agreed you were pretty quiet in there and she had reason to be concerned.  She said she could break my water and see if labor would start and what would happen.  OR Dr. Pollard was coming in in an hour and I could have a cesarean done as soon as she got in.  Dr. Teagle was out of town driving her daughter to college.

Knowing that Maria was concerned was all I needed.  I opted for the cesarean.  I have no regrets.  I had such a hard labor with your big brother and didn't want to be so beat down and then end up in a crash c-section later.  Not to mention I was rather concerned and knew deep down that I needed to get you out.  I really felt like something was up.  Maria said "good" and went to go make the calls and assemble the surgical crew.  I called you dad... he was on his way.  I called Melanie, and she said she pretty much figured you would be arriving, that your brother was doing fine, and not to worry.  I called your grandpa and couldn't find him.  I called your grandma Lisa and couldn't find her.  I had to pull out the big guns because I was about to lose battery power.  I called your GGma Toni.  I told her the good news and put her to task at finding your grandparents so they could get down to the hospital A.S.A.P.  I called your Auntie Tonya to let her know you would be arriving that day and that she could call The Woo-woos and Yoga Moms.  I was nervous and needed to feel their support.

When your dad arrived he had some tears in his eyes, but calmed down as soon as he heard your big strong heartbeat.  Nerves moved to excitement.  I walked into the OR, your dad couldn't come in until I had my epidural , was draped and "ready to go".  Grandma Lisa arrived right before your dad came into the OR.  Poppa was on his way all the way from Santa Rosa.  When they opened me up and got to you, they said "Good Call Momma... the baby is swimming in meconium."  I sighed relief.  While meconium is not a good thing, I knew that I felt a change soon enough and that you would be alright.  Also that I made the right choice in going for the cesarean and saving you the grief of a hard labor on top of swimming in meconium.

They pulled you out, I heard your mighty holler that comes naturally to someone torn from a cozy comfy spot and whose nose and mouth have just been snaked out and plunged.  The nurse brought you over to me and you were so beautiful.. eyes closed, all pink and WARM.  She kinda smooshed you into my face.. I didn't think it nice of her to do that to you.. but was sooo amazed by you.  You were a lot bigger than I thought you would be.  9 pounds 5.7 ounces.  In recovery when you were brought back to me after your bath, shots, weighing and such....you latched on right away and i just couldn't get over you!  So warm, so pink, bright blue eyes, and a hunger I couldn't believe.  You nursed for over an hour... half hour on each side.  You were so ready to hit the ground running.  Amazing.  I couldn't get over you.. and still can't.

It is all still so fresh in my mind.  You had such a great birth, really you did.  We were ready for you, yet surprised.  All I had with me was my purse and a book to read while having you monitored. 

Anyway.  Thanks for coming here in a way that was easy on your momma.  You are fabulous.  One year old.  wow.