Jessica's Blog

http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/repealprop8

http://californiansagainsthate.com/dishonorRoll.html

http://jointheimpact.com/

cool rally poster quote: Bigotry- not very Christ like.

Remember how hard fought integration was?

How hard fought voting rights were?

How about organized labor and the 5 day work week?

Doing away with child labor?

interracial marriage?

And yes.... the big bane: slavery

There are still legal documents in neighborhoods nearby that state that property is not to be sold to .

I am glad to hear the courts will hear these cases.  I would love to hear how they would justify removing a right already given, and altering a constitution to allow for discrimination on a simple "silent majority" vote.

Can you imagine if the above social changes were left to a majority vote?

The Prop 8 passing is something that continues to sit on my mind.  In looking at national news reports and blogs, I know I am not alone.  The stories I am hearing from friends and neighbors add to my unrest.  That prop put a serious black eye on the image of California.

A neighbor of mine was getting calls to her house (that she shares with her partner and her son) in spanish telling her to vote yes on 8.  In spanish, the robocall spewed out all the same lies that were so skeemingly plotted into so many minds.  Family members of hers tell her, "It's okay, honey... you can still have your civil union."  Her eyes well up as we talk about her carrying papers around in her wallet so if something should happen to her, her partner will be able to see her and make decisions for her in a hospital.  Hmmm.... carry papers?  Where have we heard that before?   Should we ask our LGBT friends and neighbors to wear pink triangles on their coats? 

How can this be right?  Actually is it PAINFULLY politically "RIGHT" , the politics of division for power but so very WRONG!! 

On Sunday I went to the Billy DeFrank LGBT Community Center for a meeting.  There were hundreds in attendance.  I went because I wanted to know, "Well, what now?"  I was surprised the many neighbors I did NOT see there.  I was heartened by the people I recognized who were there like me: Straight (parents too!) and against 8.  The meeting was intense.  The meeting was full of both hope and hurt.

There were some things said that I found to be the truest heart of our LGBT community.  First and foremost, the ability to look forward and keep on truckin'.  Two organizers at Billy DeFrank are a lesbian couple living across the street from a Mormon couple with two young kids.  They taught this family how to garden.  They have shared meals.  After the election, the Mormons apologetically shrugged that they were required by their church to give money to prop 8/ vote for prop 8, and they didn't feel they had a choice.  Now, these women who have been getting death threats due to their fight against prop 8 did not respond in anger or spite.  They breathe deep and they know the greatest gift they have given is for these girls they are neighbors to.  These young girls are growing up seeing and knowing two women who live together and love each other; who are not freaks, are not out to kill them or kill their religion or sense of morality.  A woman stood to speak.  She pulled her husband up next to her and her voice shook.  She apologized.  She admitted she was the base that was targeted, and she had no idea just what it meant to be for prop 8 and had come to ask forgiveness and to see what she could do to turn the tide back in the right direction.  She was in tears.  She received hugs from four different people near her.

It was said to the crowd NOT to buy into the blame.  The Mormon and Catholic money mongers ran a slick campaign and would love to divide us all by pointing the finger at Blacks and Latinos.  Monortity LGBT spoke that they (like most of us) were so focused on the Obama campaign, they didn't add their voice to fight prop 8; they didn' think it could pass.  There was an acknowledgement that we all need to be strong for all of the young LGBTs out there in friendly or not friendly counties desperate for hope.  The news truck had arrived outside and wanted access, and we were all told to be the example of grace and poise.  This fight has only begun, let's not lose allies thru anger. They commenced a march thru downtown, I got a text that the kids were up from their naps, was I coming home?

Tonight was a peaceful candleight vigil.  I brought the kids.  We joined others and made a big sign that said in big bold letters simply "No Hate".  Big Boy held it and danced when he would get honked at. We stayed for about and hour.  The only jeers were from big huge massive souped up pick up trucks.  What is with that?  I imagine that can go into a rant post some other day.

While making the signs we talked again about prop 8 and the civil liberties all people are entitled too.  Yes I told my kids about gay marriage and more importantly about LOVE.  I told my kids that their grandparents' marriages were illegal in some states without a fight.  We've had this talk more than once already.  And yes, we do go to church.  Our church told us about the candlelight vigil to attend to support our LGBT community members.  

As we were out there, the kids making friends with other kids, dancing with glow sticks, I had the resounding justification of why I was there and why my children were there.  This is an issue of human rights.  This has nothing to do with marriage, and all to do with discrimination.  This was not something to be left to a popular vote.

So I'm going to step out there and say it:  If you haven't spoken to someone about prop 8, have that difficult discussion.  IF they are for 8 ask why.  If they say it's wrong, ask why.  Ask what would happen if Gays could marry.... keep asking "and then....?"  More often than not, folks realize it's all a rouse and sham of fear tactics, control and division. Clo Hampton wrote a letter to the editor in today's Merc that had a Ghandi quote in it I felt was far too fitting:  "I like your Christ.  I do not like your Christians, your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

I wasn't sure how to go about this post.  I'm sure it's disorganized.  I wasn't going to write it, but then checked in with my leftcoastmom and decided to just write the darned thing.

Thanks Melanie, for this clip:

I mean c'mon!  Who is going to help the many many elderly for whom this clip applies?  I snarfed a good few times tho... and sent it to my mom with apologies that it reminds me of her.... sometimes.

There are a lot of haters out there.  Funny thing. 

I've decided to not feed the troll.  I know the troll is there.  I know it's ugly.  I know it loves hate, fear, division.  It feeds on negativity, name calling, barriers, and ignorance like candy.  It's ego.  It's fear.  It's insecurity.  The troll can stay under the bridge and decide being a troll is a pretty miserable existance, or it will wither and waste away from lack of food, growing more and more bitter, yet weaker over time.

Then I remember what I read today: We  must learn actually not to have enemies,
but  only confused  adversaries who are ourselves in disguise- Alice Walker

While I woudl love to be more enlightened and compassionate... I do kind of wish (because I'm human) the troll would just have a quick little something to remove itself from the gene pool.

It's time for unity.  We are all Americans.  The more of us that say this in word, thought, and deed, the better off this country will be.  I know it's been a while since we were all Americans, but let's just give is a shot, ok?

Don't feed the troll!

Hubby sent me this link to Maureen Dowd's op-ed in the NY Times and my eyes got misty.

IT's a funny thing, I've been humming "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey.... Goodbye!" as well.  I did not know that the crowd in front of the White House was doing that!  I know that on 1/20/09 it will be my earwig.

I have loved every trip I've ever taken to Washington DC and I loved reading Dowd because she so elloquently and succinctly expressed so much of what I have been thinking of our capital city.  I now look forward, with great anticipation, to taking our family there (once Little Lady is out of diapres, I think).  To romp on the lawns, see the museums and monuments.  It is a new day in the that town and I know the energy there will be shifting in a whole new and different way.

Hubby has expressed interest in going to DC and I have said point blank, "Not during this administration" as the city really does take on a different flavor depending on who is in office.  Friends of my mother who live there have tactfully and carefully expressed the more conservative air.  Us vs. Them.  You're with us or against us.  You're American or Un- American. Security.

When I was a kid and went to DC, I remember so well being 6 years old and looking up at my dad and asking him why he was crying at the Lincoln memorial.  He tried to explain, and all he could say was "were it not for him, you would not be here today."  The museums were a marvel, I remember holding Dad's hand and having him explain to me everything he could about aeronautics, space, mummies....  Then again in high school and college I made trips to our capital with my sister (who attended Johns Hopkins.. a small train trip away), with my mother(during her conferences), with friends.  Once during the Bush Administration (the FIRST Bush). Other times during the Clinton administration.  It was so colorful and open and fun.  I studied at the Library of Congress.  I revisited the Lincoln memorial with a more keen awareness of our history.  I was struck dumb as tears came while walking through the Vietnam memorial on a cool autumn night. 

As we age the whole point of these memorials becomes so much more real.  And yet, just as Dowd wrote so well.... their presence seemed to make no difference recently.  Similar mistakes made.  History not studied.  Lessons refused to be learned from those before us.

You can see where I am going with this.  Let's all keep up the HOPE.  Keep up the WORK.  Keep up the knowing that what was sewn for 8 years will be reaped, not neccessarily by those who sewed those seeds... and we need to stick together and stick it out.  We can't expect the open gushing wounds of our country to heal for some time yet.  Let's work.  Let's be patient.

Welcome to California!  In this state we respect the peace, harmony, and happiness of our chickens moreso than we do of a segment of our tax paying, law abiding, citizens.  For them, it has been voted that theyare not allowed to enter the sacred union of marriage.

My friends, this is discrimination, plain and simple.  There is no pussyfooting around it.  There is no other way to justify it.  When it is decided to actively alter a constitution in order to remove a civil right from one group of people that is allowed to all other citizens regardless of race, creed or color: that is discrimination, and haven't we  had enough?

C'mon Californians.  The conquistadors killed off the indians.  The Chinese were systematically killed while building the railroads.  The Japanese and Italians were sent off to internment camps, losing most of their belongings/buisnesses/savings forever during WW2.  Chinese were not allowed to attend public schools in San Francisco. Inter-racial marriage was against the law.  Mexican crop workers were systematically exposed to high levels of pesticides and were deathly ill and were told to cope.  Let's not re-enter this maddness of hatred and fear.  The state will soon divorce all gay couples that have married?  Can you imagine if all marriages between Blacks were nullified?  Between Asians?  Between Hispanics?  There needs to be a stop to this tendency of ours to need a people, a group of Americans, to opress. 

We know why this prop passed.  Lots and lots of money and footwork in neighborhoods on the part of Mormons from Utah (a group with excellent ethics on how to treat their own.. not!)  spreading **surprise*** fear tactics and misinformation.  People were told their children would be taught about gay sex and marriage in schools.  Lie.  People were told that their churches would lose their tax exempt status unless they taught gay marriage or allowed gay marriage.  Lie.   People were told they would not be allowed to protest what their children are taught in schools.  Lie.

No one is asking anyone to believe in gay marriage.  No one is asking anyone to have a spiritual liking of gay marriage.  Honest to goodness, you can be as homophobic as Limbaugh and still be against prop 8.  Well, maybe not.. he's all about taking liberties away from citizens....But this is where your personal beliefs and government policy need to be separate. What if your child/grandchild/brother/sister/cousin/auntie/uncle/niece/nefew/FRIEND fell in love and wanted to be committed to one person the rest of their life?  This is to be celebrated!  Now, say that person is of the same sex.  Would you be supportive with one hand and view them as a non-person on ther other (well, if you were Cheney you would)?  What would you do when they said they couldn't see their partner in the ER because they are not considered family?  What would you do if your loved one's partner died and the partner's family came in and sold the house out from under your loved one and look a shared retirement account because there is no lawful understanding of their relationship?

 When you chose to do good works in this life, does removing liberties from another count?

I am passionate about this because 1) haven't we had enough 2) no matter what I may feel about Gays, I refuse to vote for any kind of legislation that is out and out built from the ground up in order to alienate, ostracise, degrade, or demean any group of tax-paying, law-abiding citizens.

http://www.petitiononline.com/seg5130/petition.html

Yes, I cried.  Not as much as I thought I would. If only Grandpa could see this.

But yes.  When I went upstairs to tell Big Boy the news, his face lit up causing my eyes to well up. "By a LOT??" he said. "Yes, Baby, by a lot." I said, eyes wet, smiling in the light of his nightlight.  "No McCain?"  he asked  "No, No McCain."  Then he sat up and hugged me.  "Mom?  I would STILL like to donate my allowance to him.  He worked so hard."  My babies have one of their own as president.  Not sure if folks truly understand what that is like.  Not a rap star, not a ball player, not a dead assassinated agent of change from generations ago.  To have such an amazing role model behooving us all to do better, be better, to live in service, that every voice counts, that every voice matters, that change is hard work.

Then I told him we have a lot of work to do.  This is only the beginning, and we have a lot of ugliness to move on from. He knows no different, really.  I only had a glimpse of different in my early adulthood.  But we can.  oh Yes we can.

The donations were so worth it.

The phonebanking was so worth it.  Man, that was hard, but so worth it.  The honest and fervent discussions even when they were less than "cool".

Long ago Michelle Obama was slapped hard for saying her husband makes her proud to be an American.  I felt her then and I feel her now.  My hope is that in the future when I travel over borders, being called and American won't be an insult.  I have long wished to feel pride in the American flag.  I'm getting there. 

Our phone has been ringing off the hook with my family. 

Thank you Dave, for your texts.  Got me all weepy all over again.

Today I watched in sadness as two big white guys in a big pickup truck in Campbell flipped off and gunned their engine at two Hispanic boys standing at a corner holding up home made Obama for Change, honk for Obama 08 signs. So sad.  So very sad.  Here, in Silicon Valley Ca.  I can't imagine elsewhere.

We have (as has always been the case) a lot of work to do.  It will not be easy.  It will not be fast.  But I will do all I can so we can continue to become a country more and more each day that looks beyond the color of someone's skin, and to the content of one's character.  That's just how I've been raised.

 So OH DEAR GOD COULD WE PLEASE NEVER TALK TO JOE THE PLUMBER AGAIN!?!?!?!?

I can't hang in with this much longer.  My heart sank to the floor and lower when I got word that Toot (Obama's grandma) passed away in her sleep last night.  It sank further knowing he didn't get woken up to be told the news, as his camp knows too well how imperative rest must be at this point in the endgame.  She didn't get to live to see the day, regardless the result.

Tonight Big Boy said he wanted to donate his allowance to Barrack Obama.  In a stunned trying to play it calm and cool moment I asked him why. and he said simply, "Well, it's very clear it takes a whole lot of money and support to fight to be a good president."

And no, Hubby and I don't talk about campaign donations or money or the campaign with the kids.  I've only listened to our local news station from time to time with the kids in the car, as they want to listen to XM Kids!  They know I went and did phone bank.  Their grandparents talk (Especially Grandma Margi) about it when they visit (or in GM case, bring stickers, books about Obama, songs... etc)... and fer OMG are ya kiddin me?!!?!sakes, people are now approaching us in public saying he looks like a young Obama!!! WTF!?!  At Safeway on Sunday an old lady walked up to Big Boyand said, "Does your Daddy look like our next president?" and Big Boy looked at Hubby and back at her as if she were nuts and said, "No..... our next president will be Barrack Obama" there were twitters amongst those in close proximity and the lady laughed and asked if "daddy looked like Barrack." and Big Boy said plainly, "No."

 I still do not know what will happen tomorrow.  But I do know people need to be patient in the lines, assertive when their vote is miscast, and tenacious when the going gets rough.

I try to find laughter, and Hubby made it easy for me again today by sending me this:

I've calmed down a lot since yesterday.  mostly because now I am exhausted form the whole Halloween Shabang.  Granted we get close to no trick or treaters here, but had a wonderful opportunity to sit out on the stoop and talk politics with the neighbors.  And nope, we didn't agree about a lot of stuff, which is really cool.

We did agree that 1) the McCain campaign is screwed. and 2) Palin will likely try to throw McCain under a bus to better her chances next time through.

I got many compliments on my Obama pumpkin.

Anyway.... Kids are asleep.  Cobwebs have been removed from the shrubbery, tombstones and strobelights are back in the garage, Hubby is gaming and here is my thoughless and politico-funny clip o' the day.  

Remember the Budweiser WASSSUUUUP commercials from "back in the day"?  

I'm nervous about this election.

There, I said it.  Beyond names and loyalties, I'm having trouble with what seems like a bit time paradigm shift going on.

 Do we live in fear, defense, war, guns, FUNDAMENTALISM,  no taxes, but high government spending in deficit form since there won't be any taxes to pay for the wars and wars and wars since we're currently fighitng an ideology and not a group of people ..... or do we start to gee, I dunno.... communicate, try diplomacy, maybe focus on fixing our own homeland, education, healtcare, caring for ourselves, working with ourselves, tolerating one another within our own borders.. wait, do we have borders anymore?  Or were they farmed out for a free market?.....

 Do we admit we know candidates aren't all the names we call them, but it just might scare folks enough that they'll vote for our ticket?  Do we attack their religious belives or non beliefs?  Or do we run on the issues?

What is the deal with propositions I'm hearing about across the country?  Clearly the product of too much time spent under conservative rule... too much time spent deciding how to take rights and liberties away from people not like you!!! (if you're a hard core conservative.. often synonymous with fundamentalist of some sort).  Let's see.  One trying to define what a person is as a way of outlawing abortion, or charging those who have had an abortion with murder.  A pro-lifers wet dream.  One making it illegal for two people living together out of wedlock to adopt a child Dude, Brad and Anjelina best stay out of that state!  One (I do remember... Nebraska) outlawing affirmative action of anykind anywhere for any reason.... making it illegal to do anything to ensure ethnic diversity.  I mean.... wow.  Do these things need to be laws?  I mean, I honestly thought those things were happening in shadey discriminatory seedy slimy discusting ways anyway... why make them laws?  Have they no shame?  Hello!  We LOVE to discriminate!!!

 All of the conservatives I know are conservative on the basis of money.  As in they want to keep all of their money.  Sure.  I can relate to that.  But how do they make peace with all the other things that go along with a conservative voting record?  Some have said to me to not worry... no way a pres or vice in Washington could every really overturn Roe V. Wade no matter what they believe.. they'll leave it to the states and therefore it's all honkey dorey.  Ummm... what is getting close to happening now?

 So I've been a bit preoccupied.  Will our country decide to go further down a rabbit hole or shift in an opposite direction.

One thing I do know:  No matter what the results are of the presidential election on Tuesday I will be a major big time crybaby.  But for totally opposite reasons depending on who wins.

Buck turned a corner this afternoon.  He wanted to get out of the car for a walk when I was taking Honey Girl to gymnastics.  He walked!  His tail was up!  He sniffed and enjoyed looking out on the water.  It was so great.

I took off his cone this evening because he was having trouble cleaning out Little Lady's high chair.  He seemed back to himself.  Afterall it's been a week.  A long week of drugs and cone and shirt and refusing to walk due to the cone and shirt.  He smells from doing nothing but lying around.  Without the collar tonight he was rubbing his chin on the floor and rolling around.  He was in bliss.

Well...

Hubby and I were in the throws of carving  the pumpkins for tomorrow when we realized Buck wasn't with us.  Not  only that, but he wasn't coming right away when we called him.  He emerged from the office, acting like all was peachy keen and well.

But nope.  The bugger had pulled out all of his stitches on his tail!  Grumble.  Sadly, the wounds were wide open again.  Not like the stiches were out, the wound was closed, and  and we could let it go.  Not even close.No blood, just wide open.

Hubby finished his dinner and packed Buck into the car and took him to the doggie ER to get re-stapled.  He texted me that he could hear Buck yelping in the back as they did it.  I was furious that Buck wasn't NUMB when they did it.  Now we've taken a bit of a step backwards.  Buck's pain meds are NOW fully kicked in and he's licking his chops and all dopey and on the floor.... back in his cone.... fully defeated.

This sucks.

Okay, okay.. this may be so freaking OLD... but Hubby and I just spent some time laughing our butts off, convulsing, wheezing, whiping away tears.

 It started with this, the best 5 seconds on the internet:

Then we saw this and the giggles got worse.

And when we thought we couldn't take anymore:

Okay okay.... maybe you had to be here on the couch with us, but hey.... it's good to get convulsions of laughter.

I have always loved and adored Samantha Bee.  Her recent stories while at the GOP Convention were wonderful enough...remember the lady's response to Palin's nomination?  "Just goes to prove ANYONE can be president!" or how she (while hugely pregnant) did her best to get republicans to use the word "choice" in relation to Palin's daughter and her own choice to have a child?   Or when she commended the GOP on chosing Palin to get more women voters since clearly we as women all think with our little hoods and not with our heads?.... but Last night she delivered this "bit" that SOOOOooo resonated with me regarding McCain's use of air quotes to belittle HUGE FUCKING ISSUES.  Like, abortions in the case of a woman's **dramatic air quotes** health!?!

enjoy!

Our poor Buck aDoo.

Our poor Woofers McGee.(as his Auntie Tonya may say)

He's okay now.  He's in his cone, high on drugs, groaning and moaning on his doggie bed.  The rice is simmering on the stove, the chicken bits are heating.

He got beat down, poor guy!

We got the calls.  Or we DIDN'T cuz we're crappy dog parents.  I was picking up Big Boy and Hubby missed the call, so the call actualy went to Keith.  Thank you Keith for finding Hubby to tell him.  He called me as I was driving home and I turned around and we made our way to Adobe Animal Hospital.  Yup, all kids in tow.  All we got was thatBuck was in an incident with another dog and was being transported.  It wasn't "emergency level" wounds, but they woudl need to be cleaned out immediately.

The kids were cool.  They were concerned.  We got to the vet hospital wayyyy up in Los Altos.... so good to smell the money in the air, by the way.  Buck was with the trainer and Hubby in the waitingroom.   We seemed happy to see us, but wouldn't wag his tail more than once, cuz it was bleeding a bit and all wonky.  He had some blood at his neck.

The story:  trainers heard Buck bark, spun around and Buck was running to leave a play area.  A dog he's been hanging with for some time without any incident was after him.  The other dog, in hot persuit, caught him by the tail and ragdolled his tail.  They quickly separated the dogs and checked on Buck.   The other dog won't be back at doggy day care.

We needed to muzzle Buck in order to get a look at his tail.  We all soothed him as he winced and whined and grunted and squirmed when the vet tech shaved fur away from his wounds to get a better look.  Big Boy looked a little nauseous, Honey Girl was rivetted on his eyes, gently petting him saying calmly, "You'll be okay, Buck.. we just need to help you, ok?" and Little Lady (while strapped in ergo on my back) sagged sideways out the side to get a better look.  Buck had a good puncture wound on the side of his neck.  His tail had inch long tears on top and bottom.  Through all of this the trainer stayed with us, holding Buck and soothing him too.

 The vet tech let us know Buck would need to be sedated for flushing and suturing, so itook the girls home.  Big Boy stayed behind, as his big welling up tears at the prospect of leaving his dog behind on a school night bummed me out.  Hubby brought Big Boy home once the vet brought Buck into surgery.    We got kids down, Hubby went all the way back to Los Altos and brough home our pup.

 He's got the cone.  He's got the tube hanging out of his neck, his tail looks like a poodle cut gone very wrong and bloody and stutured.  He's on pain med, anti-biotics.  He's all loopy on drugs, and whimpery.

Aw, Buck... you are going to be Sooooo spoiled over the next week!  You old old dog too old to take on the punks at the doggy daycare.