Jessica's Blog

My kids hate to take showers.

All of them.

They hate it.

This only really becomes an issue when we go to our dream getaway at the Greenhorn Creek Guest Ranch because they only have showers in the rooms and cabins.

Showers conserve a lot more water.  Showers take up less space.  Showers are easier to clean.  Showers take less time to git the job done.  The kids hate showering.

So each time we go we face the same barrage of complaints.  Honey Girl whines and moans and Big Boy just tries to hide under or behind his bunk.  It's no matter if the shower is directed away from them and put on them only for wetting or rinsing.  They hate showers. 

We found simpel money to be a great motivator.  Money for fish food or air hockey for showering worked great until Honey Girl enjoyed showing folks that she was "rich" and enjoyed "sharing" he money with her friends... who she couldn't remember.... so they could all buy fish food.  Sweet, but who took the money?  What was their name?  Where are the now? 

Little Lady also almost joined in on the mutiny tuning up for her hysterical holler until I figured that if I used the washcloth on her instead of the shower stream, and showered with her,  she'd be fine.  She was.

The rest of the time, for Honey Girl, I am standing here with the shower door open coaching the 3 year old through the process.  Of course,  getting the floor soaked.  In a final fit of rage at the prospect of showering on one of our days at the ranch, Honey Girl *bright idea* kicked the shower door and cut her foot.  I think it was during the same hissie fit riddled showering of HoneyGirl experience I didn't know Little Lady had snuck into the bathroom behind me.  She slipped on the wet floor and smacked her head both on the cabinet and shower door on her way down.  I, of course, couldn't hear that she was in the bathroom over the sound of the water and Honey Girls' shall we say "issues"?  Hubby was wrangling Bog Boy back into clothing at the time.  Two good hollers and Little lady was fine.

While I could post a shout of of "how do you get  kids who love baths to get into the shower habit?"  I kind of liked our first baths upon returning home.  They were so happy to sit in the warm water.  They were so good at getting clean... it made up for all the hissies and such while at the ranch.  That, and it was clear they were actually more thorough  in washing at home.  They also went right to bed and slept perfectly.

How do you get your kids to like showers?

We're home.  yay. yipee.  so glad.  to be. home....not.

We've become a family that lives for our next fix of time with the Greenhorn Gang.  Time by the pond fishing.  Time in the chuckhouse with Mare and Carla, or listening to another cowboy tale from Ellie over our morning coffee.  Ellie is being inducted into the Canadian Cowboy Hall of Fame in October, and is doing so well. Time with my "boyfriend" the bartender Billy, or time out on the trail learning leads, continuing to perfect my seat, and cowboy poems from Ed.  Yes, I cowgirled up and had my yip n' holler rides through the trees and along fire roads.  I also had my peaceful walks along the babbling brooks, and heard the sound of winds coming and going through the pines all around me.  I had my horse spook from a stick kicked up by the horse ahead of it.  I had my body covered in dust and dirt only to have Shiela nuzzle me and add horse snot to the mix.  I became a faithful "Ed's Posse" member.  I watched as Honey Girl made many friends, all who would ask for her whenever they saw me.  I watched Little Lady dance, shimmy, and smile smile smile.  I danced Little Lady to sleep under the moon and stars on the deck of the Saloon to the quieted country music on the sound system before walking through camp back to our cabin.  I enjoyed quiet moments on the porch swing at sunset with Big Boy, and fishing with him too.  I watched proud and in glee as he took a bareback ride with a wrangler to the pond and was let off before she took her horse for a swim.  He was amazed and in awe at watching a horse learning to swim.  We all enjoyed watching a John Wayne Western movie under the stars after racing our bullfrogs.  I watched and smiled as Polly (wagon mule) nudged Larry over and over and nearly knocked him down each time at the cookout.  Hubby danced with me, we handled all the intricacies of extended family dynamics together.  He passed lope check and joined me on a more advanced ride.  As a family, we took over the pool and enjoyed each other thoroughly.

We met wonderful people from all over the place.  We fell in love with a Brittish family (Hallo Jess, Gurdun, Maddie, Sam and William!) and enjoyed the SoCal crowd of friendly fams that took over the place together as a group of 9 families!  It was a very busy week.

I want my horse friendly friends to come with us next time.  If you go,  Tell them Jess sent you!

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to 
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,  or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this  year's
winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with  only one
letter altered to form a real word.

1.Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until  you
realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops 
bright ideas from penetrating.

The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down  in
the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the 
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the  person
who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these 
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's 
like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of gett ing through the day 
consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when 
they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after 
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into  your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in 
the fruit you're eating.

And, the pick of the lot...

17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.