Jessica's Blog

"Vote republican: it's easier than thinking"
"Never underestimate the power of a large group of ignorant scared people"

I did it.

The kids have not watched TV since June. 

Why?

I got so frickin sick to the arguments.  At the end of every show Honey Girl would start in with her whining about what to watch next.  Then if designated tv time was over, there was a guaranteed whinefest from the both of them.  If the tv was on around dinner time, I had zombies that would spend time at the table, but would rarely eat their food.  I got sick of the wretched barrage of "I want"s from Honey Girl.  "OOOOooooo!  I want that because it's so pretty and so pink and I love it!"  *gag*  I was realizing that while Word Girl was truly a great kids show... it was still tv and Big Boy and I were getting more vocabulary from his Magic Treehouse books at bedtime.  It grossed me out when the bigger kids would ask Little Lady to move because she was blocking the tv. 

So I killed the television.  Cold Turkey.  Enough.  No, no tv.  Nope. Nada.  Zero. Zilch.

Granted, this could be why I have not communicated much with the outside world since June.  I've been with my kids!  As in playing games, doing projects, going on bike rides... talking, teaching them how to do chores... today we had a quiz show in the kitchen about "sometimes foods" and "healthy choices" since Honey Girl wants to live on only fruit lately.  We pilfered through the cupboards looking for examples of stuff, then cleaned up the mess.

Something I've heard referred to as "quality time"?

Hmmmm.

It helps that we're insanely busy with me working now and the kids having swim lessons this summer and that we don't get home until close to 5 or so.  We putter a bit, then it's dinner/bath/bed time.  Of course dinner/bath/bed is a near two hour process.... but anyway.

I wasn't going to write about the no tv rule in our house because I find folks who do that tend to do it to be smug or holier-than-thou.  I decided to do it to get peace back.  Basically to chill out Honey Girl, who just doesn't seem to be able to handle tv right now.  Big Boy doesn't mind because he's big on his legos, chapter books, cooking, and his baby sister.  The sibling arguments has gone down significantly.  Honey Girl has found *knock on wood* her inside voice, her ability to use her words, and basically how NOT to annoy the crap out of us much of the time.  The hissy fits are all but gone, the interrupting by yelling,  clumsiness of just not knowing where her body is. I used to put on the tv so they wouldn't argue, and now I find they argue less because they aren't fighting over what to watch.

For myself killing tv has been big too.  Really it was hard at first.  There were times when I was about to turn on the tv just to have a moment's peace from the kids, or to have something definitive to do.  But then I found if I just puttered with them, put on some music, or took a few deep breaths,  we'd have a good time.  I'll watch every now and then, usually when ironing to make the task more fun late at night. You know what I've found?  I sleep now.  I used to get all caught up in one show, then the next, and the next, and just like my daughter, I would be overtired and grouchy.  It's amazing what all else I have energy for now.

The kids are getting to be great dancers.... not that I'll ask them to exhibit their "SexyBack" skills anytime soon.

I overheard Honey Girl saying to a camp counselor at my son's camp today, "Um, well... you see.  I know this character.  I used to watch that tv show, but we don't watch tv anymore at my home at all.  Not at all."

Can you hear the teeniest violin playing??  yeah, me neither.

It may creep in again.  Who knows what the future will hold, but for now the big beautiful tv is for gaming and movies.  In other words, Hubby's game nights and the occasional in home date night, or Family Movie Night on a weekend afternoon.  The kids don't even ask anymore.  Well, of course Honey Girl asks from time to time, but those times are becoming fewer and farther between.  We put the tv on for her the other night while I was cutting Hubby's and BIg Boy's hair and when we turned it off... immediate hissy fit despite the clear negotiation at the outset that it would only be fore one show, enough time to cut Daddy's hair.  Lesson learned.

My daughter continues to be my greatest teacher.  She pushes us to new heights of awareness everyday.

Last November, I was beyond a full plate here at home.  I was honestly just overwhelmed in my own home.  Something had to give.  That something was giving Max (aka fatty booombalatty fatty Max -catty) and Cleo (aka Cleo-Leo Meeeooooweerrrr).  Max and Cleo were booted from our home to go live with my mom in San Francisco.

My mom willingly took them in despite the fact that she has a small apartment, immense strains on her time, and.. well... a propensity to step and/or trip on anything that isn't as tall as she is.  She loaded them and their accouterments into her CR-V and I breathed a sigh of relief of not 1)cleaning up cat hair 2) tripping on them in the night while putting babe down 3) not hearing them meoowwwr "just to say hello" 4) not climbing all over me the moment I had my body to myself.  It was blessing.  I found my legs again.

Sadly, my mom kind of lost one of hers.  She tripped on Cleo in the night just a week or so after taking the cats in, and broke her ankle, thus requiring surgery and an extended stay in our home .  She also fell madly in love with the cats and would often say we were never going to get them back.  I would cringe inside when she would say this.  The kids would then beg to get the cats back.

The grandkids started to cry and moan and miss the cats.  They didn't forget about them like folks would think kids would.  I started to miss the cats.  It had been 7 months.  It was time for them to come home.  I made the call and the kids (on speakerphone) told Grandma their wish.

Mom cried for a day.

The kitties came home on Saturday after a visit to Grandma's apartment in the city an my favorite meal form childhood:  Tater Tot casserole!  Nummy!

It is as if they never left.  Dog and cats picked up right where they left off with Max walking under the dog and between the dog's legs to trip the dog going down the stairs.  I woke last night to a teeny little Cleo curled up in the crook of my arm like always, and to the sound of one of them quietly calling to the other in the night in the house;  not full blown MEOWS, but their quiet chirpy "mmer---er???" s they do. The sound is like overblown purrs in a game of kitty cat  Marco-Polo.

Max interrupted my housecleaning routine this evening to voice a concern as to the placement of his food dish, and would I MIND giving him a lift to that unseemly high height?  I mean c'mon; at Grandma's house the food was at floor level and readily available every day at 6PM.  While here at home, the food is up away from curious toddler reach and it's Science Diet indoor "mature" cat formula?!?!?!?  WTF!?!?!?!?!?  To add insult to injury, it will now be BIg Boy's job to feed him?  Good God, what's an old cat to do?!?!

Big Boy is taking on a greater care provider role with them, and they seem to acknowledge his added maturity.  They are trying to give Honey Girl a chance again.  They allow Little lady to pet them, but then seem to study her with a look of, "Great, we get to train another one."  This evening at bedtime I got quite the chuckle watching Big Boy and Honey Girl attempting to "help" Max (at 17-18 pounds) over the baby gate at the top of the stairs.  Big Boy groaning under the weight and Honey Girl running to hoist up his back end while still trying to open the gate (as the fatty was refusing to jump spryly over the gate). I couldn't help because I was changing Little Lady into jammies.

Who needs tv?

Both cats put on some weight while at Grandma's.  Understandable.  smaller space, no one chasing them, no one hollering at them to get out of the way.  Not one begging them to play.  No one forgetting to feed/water them.  No diet food.  They had the koosh indoor cat life, fo' sho'.

Little Lady is the child in the house truly taken aback by this sudden addition (in her eyes).  She looks from one cat to the other in pure wonder and delight, following them around slowly and carefully, petting them oh-so-gently and quietly smiling back at us saying "ka?", then looking at Buck and saying, "Buh-duh!" (for Buck-dog).  This evening, she was petting one cat when the other came down the stairs and she seemed truly shocked... there are two of them?  They look just the same!

Thank you , Mom for taking such excellent care of the kitties.  I'm sorry it broke your heart to give them back.  They seem happy to be home.  I am thrilled to have them back.