Jessica's Blog

This happens a lot.  No, we aren't offended.  No, it's no affront to our ancestry or "pride" as it were.  But it is part of my daily life that many don't even know about, so I'm going to write about it.  Being half white and half black.

No one would know that I'm half black.  About half the people I tell that to say, "Huh, I wouldn't have guessed that."  It used to bug me.  It used to bother me.  I couldn't put my finger on why it bothered me so.  It's not like I hung out at Heritage House in college or made a point of having friends of one color or the other.  My lie was and is a true study of diversity.  But now I know.  It bothers me because it's half of me.  It's half of how I was raised, half of who I am. 

Also, quiet as it is not kept, I feel a stronger spiritual bond with the black side of my family.  My grandparents are my rock.  I go to them for guidance,  I go to them to rest my head, to ask how to cook,  ask how to be a good partner to my husband, good mother to my babies, to ask "what was it like in LA back in the day?".  I need to add here "them" is of course past tense as "them" is now "her".  I miss you every day Grandpa; but I know you're with me.  Hubby did not have this experience until we were engaged, then he and my Grandpa and grandma were thick as thieves.  It was beautiful; but they could be sneaky!

Recently, due to Big Boy being at a new school, the guessing game has begun again.  Most are too polite (read that too shy or don't really care) to ask, but the questions are now coming out.  "Are you Italian?"  That was new!  But I do often get asked if my nationality is of countries bordering the Mediterranean... or even Jordanian or Persian, or even Israeli.  "No, actually I'm half white half black.. but the half black is mixed with Sioux Native American Indian."  "OOoooohhhh."  they say.  Then I usually give a big, make my momma proud smile and say, "In other words, I'm one serious American, aren't we all?"  This is to let folks know... no offense taken, really, get that stupid look off your face.. the face of trying to figure out what of my features are white/ black/ or Indian.  Her eyes must be the indian part... here nose is definitely white... hmm thos shoulders are strong.....  you get the picture.

I don't look like your usual mixed beauty.  big whup.

Now, Hubby's experience is the exact opposite.  Folks can't believe that he is half white.  He had no connection to the black side of his family, really.  Socially we were pretty similar, as in didn't make a point of being closer to people of any color, or doing anything stereotypically anything... other than erudite, academic,  or downright geeky.  Growing up doing lifeguard work, he would get asked if he was  Puerto Rican, or folks would just start speaking to him in other languages... that would happen to me too, but I figured that was just San Francisco.

It is no surprise that when we re-met, there was an instant soul connection due to this shared white/black growing up thing.  Yes we were raised in very "Color of Water" houses.  But we also knew... the world was different.  The color stuff really was a non-issue for us as a couple, even though folks we had dated before claimed it was a non-issue when c'mon... it was.

I see funny things when we are out together.  For one thing, I definitely get the "You took one of ours, bitch." looks whenever we're around black women.  Or when I'm out with my mulit-color babies. Whatever.

Some people have made remarks to me or Hubby about us being an "inter-racial" couple.  We both laugh.  I mean, what else should we do?  I mean, we are an inter-racial couple; in a way. 

Or, since we're not all black, people feel more comfortable asking us "black questions" I call them.  Ever been to Africa?  Ever been to the South?  SO, you like Jazz?  Or, funniest is when people tell me about race relations in other countries.

So, please know... we're happier when you say something instead of tip toeing around it.  Just know that if you say something that strikes our little mixed up bones as funny.... we DO talk about you at home.  We DO laugh.  I usually will say to Hubby, "they said WHAT?" or Hubby will say, "Nooo, No?  No, they didnt!"  And we laugh.

Oh yes they did say that, Love of mine, yes they did.... and that's why I'm married to you!!!  Because we can laugh at this stuff.

The National Science Teachers Association has turned down 50,000 free copies of "An Inconvenient Truth" to be used in classrooms.  They state: Accepting the DVDs, they wrote, would place "unnecessary risk upon the [NSTA] capital campaign, especially certain targeted supporters."

The supporter they would lose money from would be: Exxon Mobil Corp.

Yeah, it is *rather* inconvenient that the earth is warming.  It is even more inconvenient to Exxon Mobil Corp if the next generations of potential customers were to push big oil to research other energy resources that don't warm the earth so.  Sooo... who do you s'pose has more money to throw at killing the spread of knowledge about this pesky scientific research?  HMMMM?

http://consciousearth.blogspot.com/2006/11/inconvenient-truth-squeezed-from.html

You people suck.

I cannot believe you find your noise polluting selves to be cool.  You are closest to living troglodites in our time.  The best example of inconsiderate rudeness in our time.  You need to get a life.  A life, and most likely a hearing aid.

It sickens me that my hard earned tax dollars are eventually going to go to programs to give you dumb-asses hearing aids, or to educate you via public service announcements on KMEL or 94.9 as to why your idiotic customized nightmare vehicles or home theater systems are in fact deafening not only YOU but YOUR CHILDREN TOO!  But I imagine you think that's just a bunch of hooey... and you turned out fine.. but you know what?  Think AGAIN!  Did you, really?

At a stop light when you are in the batch of cars, consider this:  We don't want to hear your fucking music!  Maybe, just MAYBE we have something on in our own vehicle to hear that is worth listening to.  Something we don't want drowned out by boom-boom-boom. 

If we are in our home, maybe we don't like our walls vibrating!

I don't go down your street blasting CNN, classical, or the Hear Music station.  Although maybe I should.. you might grow a brain cell or two!  I do not appreciate the way your sheer stupidity causes my rear view mirror to vibrate, or causes my children to cover their ears.

You. Are. Morons.  You're probably the same folks who sued Apple. Sued even though you're so stupid as to deafen yourselves with your ipods.

If ever there is legislation to be passed on the allowance of loudness in cars or stereo systems, I will sell anything of value to hire the best effing lobbyist to push it through. 

Yeah, sure.  You think you're hot stuff.  You think you're hot, proud, cool, in your own world, whatever... with your "Hey, check me out!  You can't ignore me now!"  But you know what?  Here, lemme let you in on  a secret.  You listening?  You just look stupid.  Not stupid: cute stupid.  Not, "Wow... that driver's got that certain je ne sais quoi.."  But... Wow... Greenday must be right when they say, "Been around the world and seen that only stupid people are breeding".  You do look easy and sleazy and cheap.  That may well be what you're going for.. but you really don't need to advertise that fact with such vigor; really, ya don't.  that kind of quality truly does speak for itself loudly enough.

Your moms must be so proud.

Get a clue.  Get a hearing aid.  Shut the hell up.

Ah, ohhhh that felt so GOOOOOD to get off my chest.
*deep cleansing breath*
buh-bye

This post is mostly in place to see what Smittie will comment!  Here's one just for you, Smittie.

I found this latest Michael Moore letter thought provoking.  I am not fully in agreement, but I do agree in all ways with what he has to say about our educational system in the US!  I also agree with the thoughts that it really is up to the democrats now to "prove you earned it".  I titled this post with my favorite sentence of the whole letter.  Of course that is toward the end...

Cut and Run, the Only Brave Thing to Do

Sunday, November 26th, 2006

Friends,

Tomorrow marks the day that we will have been in Iraq longer than we were in all of World War II.

That's right. We were able to defeat all of Nazi Germany, Mussolini, and the entire Japanese empire in LESS time than it's taken the world's only superpower to secure the road from the airport to downtown Baghdad.

And we haven't even done THAT. After 1,347 days, in the same time it took us to took us to sweep across North Africa, storm the beaches of Italy, conquer the South Pacific, and liberate all of Western Europe, we cannot, after over 3 and 1/2 years, even take over a single highway and protect ourselves from a homemade device of two tin cans placed in a pothole. No wonder the cab fare from the airport into Baghdad is now running around $35,000 for the 25-minute ride. And that doesn't even include a friggin' helmet.

Is this utter failure the fault of our troops? Hardly. That's because no amount of troops or choppers or democracy shot out of the barrel of a gun is ever going to "win" the war in Iraq. It is a lost war, lost because it never had a right to be won, lost because it was started by men who have never been to war, men who hide behind others sent to fight and die.

Let's listen to what the Iraqi people are saying, according to a recent poll conducted by the University of Maryland:

** 71% of all Iraqis now want the U.S. out of Iraq.

** 61% of all Iraqis SUPPORT insurgent attacks on U.S. troops.

Yes, the vast majority of Iraqi citizens believe that our soldiers should be killed and maimed! So what the hell are we still doing there? Talk about not getting the hint.

There are many ways to liberate a country. Usually the residents of that country rise up and liberate themselves. That's how we did it. You can also do it through nonviolent, mass civil disobedience. That's how India did it. You can get the world to boycott a regime until they are so ostracized they capitulate. That's how South Africa did it. Or you can just wait them out and, sooner or later, the king's legions simply leave (sometimes just because they're too cold). That's how Canada did it.

The one way that DOESN'T work is to invade a country and tell the people, "We are here to liberate you!" -- when they have done NOTHING to liberate themselves. Where were all the suicide bombers when Saddam was oppressing them? Where were the insurgents planting bombs along the roadside as the evildoer Saddam's convoy passed them by? I guess ol' Saddam was a cruel despot -- but not cruel enough for thousands to risk their necks. "Oh no, Mike, they couldn't do that! Saddam would have had them killed!" Really? You don't think King George had any of the colonial insurgents killed? You don't think Patrick Henry or Tom Paine were afraid? That didn't stop them. When tens of thousands aren't willing to shed their own blood to remove a dictator, that should be the first clue that they aren't going to be willing participants when you decide you're going to do the liberating for them.

A country can HELP another people overthrow a tyrant (that's what the French did for us in our revolution), but after you help them, you leave. Immediately. The French didn't stay and tell us how to set up our government. They didn't say, "we're not leaving because we want your natural resources." They left us to our own devices and it took us six years before we had an election. And then we had a bloody civil war. That's what happens, and history is full of these examples. The French didn't say, "Oh, we better stay in America, otherwise they're going to kill each other over that slavery issue!"

The only way a war of liberation has a chance of succeeding is if the oppressed people being liberated have their own citizens behind them -- and a group of Washingtons, Jeffersons, Franklins, Ghandis and Mandellas leading them. Where are these beacons of liberty in Iraq? This is a joke and it's been a joke since the beginning. Yes, the joke's been on us, but with 655,000 Iraqis now dead as a result of our invasion (source: Johns Hopkins University), I guess the cruel joke is on them. At least they've been liberated, permanently.

So I don't want to hear another word about sending more troops (wake up, America, John McCain is bonkers), or "redeploying" them, or waiting four months to begin the "phase-out." There is only one solution and it is this: Leave. Now. Start tonight. Get out of there as fast as we can. As much as people of good heart and conscience don't want to believe this, as much as it kills us to accept defeat, there is nothing we can do to undo the damage we have done. What's happened has happened. If you were to drive drunk down the road and you killed a child, there would be nothing you could do to bring that child back to life. If you invade and destroy a country, plunging it into a civil war, there isn't much you can do 'til the smoke settles and blood is mopped up. Then maybe you can atone for the atrocity you have committed and help the living come back to a better life.

The Soviet Union got out of Afghanistan in 36 weeks. They did so and suffered hardly any losses as they left. They realized the mistake they had made and removed their troops. A civil war ensued. The bad guys won. Later, we overthrew the bad guys and everybody lived happily ever after. See! It all works out in the end!

The responsibility to end this war now falls upon the Democrats. Congress controls the purse strings and the Constitution says only Congress can declare war. Mr. Reid and Ms. Pelosi now hold the power to put an end to this madness. Failure to do so will bring the wrath of the voters. We aren't kidding around, Democrats, and if you don't believe us, just go ahead and continue this war another month. We will fight you harder than we did the Republicans. The opening page of my website has a photo of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, each made up by a collage of photos of the American soldiers who have died in Bush's War. But it is now about to become the Bush/Democratic Party War unless swift action is taken.

This is what we demand:

1. Bring the troops home now. Not six months from now. NOW. Quit looking for a way to win. We can't win. We've lost. Sometimes you lose. This is one of those times. Be brave and admit it.

2. Apologize to our soldiers and make amends. Tell them we are sorry they were used to fight a war that had NOTHING to do with our national security. We must commit to taking care of them so that they suffer as little as possible. The mentally and physically maimed must get the best care and significant financial compensation. The families of the deceased deserve the biggest apology and they must be taken care of for the rest of their lives.

3. We must atone for the atrocity we have perpetuated on the people of Iraq. There are few evils worse than waging a war based on a lie, invading another country because you want what they have buried under the ground. Now many more will die. Their blood is on our hands, regardless for whom we voted. If you pay taxes, you have contributed to the three billion dollars a week now being spent to drive Iraq into the hellhole it's become. When the civil war is over, we will have to help rebuild Iraq. We can receive no redemption until we have atoned.

In closing, there is one final thing I know. We Americans are better than what has been done in our name. A majority of us were upset and angry after 9/11 and we lost our minds. We didn't think straight and we never looked at a map. Because we are kept stupid through our pathetic education system and our lazy media, we knew nothing of history. We didn't know that WE were the ones funding and arming Saddam for many years, including those when he massacred the Kurds. He was our guy. We didn't know what a Sunni or a Shiite was, never even heard the words. Eighty percent of our young adults (according to National Geographic) were not able to find Iraq on the map. Our leaders played off our stupidity, manipulated us with lies, and scared us to death.

But at our core we are a good people. We may be slow learners, but that "Mission Accomplished" banner struck us as odd, and soon we began to ask some questions. Then we began to get smart. By this past November 7th, we got mad and tried to right our wrongs. The majority now know the truth. The majority now feel a deep sadness and guilt and a hope that somehow we can make make it all right again.

Unfortunately, we can't. So we will accept the consequences of our actions and do our best to be there should the Iraqi people ever dare to seek our help in the future. We ask for their forgiveness.

We demand the Democrats listen to us and get out of Iraq now.

Yours,

Michael Moore

Oh, what a great day.  Big Bow to Hubby for giving me such an awesome day.  I am still in the land of ooo-blah-di.

I never got out of my jammies.  Alllll day.  I just got showered and I hve time to write because Hubby and kiddos have not returned from their outing.  No idea where they are really.  He called about a half hour ago (waking me from a nap!  yay!) to ask if he could just pick up dinner.  That is like asking a mom if they can clean their house and give them a trip to the spa.  Sure!  Pick up dinner!  Wherever!  Whatever!

We had a great day.  Kids watched tv and played and did crafty stuff while we cleaned the house up.  It was rainy and cold outside, a lovely welcomed change.  then I got a nap.  Then I got a shower.  And yes, I put my jammies back on.  heh heh heh

Now, some folks wouldn't bother blogging about a nice big day of pretty much nothing big.  But OH!  Once an overly dutiful mom of two, to have  a day of nothin' much really IS something to blog about.

Back to usual schedule tomorrow.  Hubby has work to do tonight.  We've been watching movies and having family fun most days this break.  It was a really nice break.  Here here to NOT traveling over the Thanksgiving Holiday.

Hope yours was a good one.

It was good enough to slap yo' momma....

but wait...

I'm the Momma!
And um, I did get a playful slap on the booty!

Dinner was oh so very good.  It was good enough to put a hush on a 2 and 4 year old.  So worth it. 

I spoke with Hillary briefly today.  I called her on her cell.. she's with her family in GA.  I had a question for her husband, the firefighter.  See, we noticed our neighbors had set up a turkey frying pot in the drive aisle.  No no no.. not the neighbors I  *ahem* love so much, but the other side of folks I do like a lot.  The gas tank was on, the thermometer was in the oil.. the hsss was going.

"Should I just call the fire station nearby to let them be on alert for when the house goes up?"

After we shared some laughter, it was decided that I could give Big Boy a fire extinguisher and tell him that IF the bird should ignite, just tell him to spray in a good 3 foot diameter around the flame.  All should be well.  As we are laughing some more.. Hubby came upstairs from the garage saying they just dropped the bird and all seemed to be going well.

I wasn't honestly freaked out, but c'mon!  Who still fries a turkey??

After a super yummilicious repas, I asked Hubby about work tomorrow, would he need to go?  He let me know that the office is closed!  Yes, he needs to work, but he won't need to GO IN for work.  Can I tell you how thankful I am for that?  I get Hubby all weekend!

Oh happy Thanksgiving all!

Ok, we've been here before.  You all know I love autumn.  I love Halloween, I love Thanksgiving.  It is high holiday time for me.  Holidays based not so much on religion as on eating or bastardized paganism.  Christmas is fine and dandy, but ugh the materialism and buying gifts for people you have to buy gifts for and not who you want to buy gifts for... because there's only so much buying one can do and still feel ok about it.  I love New Year's, but more due to the black eyed peas with ham hock and hot links, greens with pot licker and mac n' cheese.  I love holidays that infuse food with lots of love and cause everyone to pass out and be cool with each other,  watch movies, play football on the lawn.

We will be home for Thanksgiving this year.  Dad will be driving his bus,  Sis is working too I think (nurse at Kaiser call center).  Mom will have just returned from visiting Grandma Toni, and Mom (other mom) will likely be visiting her mom.  So we all get together on Saturday.  Hubby and me with the kids, my sis, my dad, my moms and my grandma Eleanor.  Up at my mom and dad's house in Marin.  Yes, the California extended family, exes included and ex in-laws too! Thanksgiving get together.  Oh, and my mom's best buddy and her husband and their dog.  It will be great.

I wasn't sure I'd be up for making a serious meal tomorrow... but Big Boy lead me into Whole Foods today and voila.  We'll be having us some good grub tomorrow.  Yes, I always give my disclaimer that this is nothin' like I used to cook before kids, but still, we will have leftovers for days... which is great because who wants to cook while on "vacation"? So... Not a turkey but a chicken.  Yes, homemade stuffing with sausage, mushrooms, herbs and more.  Yes, home baked sweet potatoes candied and luscious.  Yes, homemade cranberry sauce with orange and grand marnier.  And yes, a green bean casserole.  Nope, no fresh pie or cakes.  I bought some pies this time.  I think I'll be busy enough with Big Boy as my su chef. 

I love to cook.  I find it trying with little ones hanging on my legs and trying to grab knives or fall into the oven.  I love the smells, the labor, the chopping and tasting and basting and waiting.  I love the soul food that is cooking.  Feeding your family and passing on the family recipes, what could be better?  The silence that falls on the table as eating commences.  It's a sacred thing.  The saddest Thanksgivings I have had were when it was clear love did not go into the food.  I cried both times when on the phone with "home" about what THEY were eating.  They cried when they heard what I was eating.  Having a bad Thanksgiving meal is like.. nothing I can think of right now.  It's a big deal to me.

I have to make up for last year.  Last year we ordered a pre-cooked bird that we simply re-heated.  All the sides were in the box too.  We were all down in the desert.  No one was up for cooking.  We knew Grandpa was sick.  We were all sick and out of sorts over it.  The next day we were meeting with the oncologist.  I have video footage of Grandpa trying to eat while I'm sitting on the couch with Honey Girl nursing while I'm fielding phone calls from family saying when they will come visit, what are treatment plans, is he ok.... It was a good holiday but it was damned hard and sad and a survival, not a celebration.  I need to celebrate with mine this year.  So I'm going to cook, gosh darnnit.

I had meant to pre-order my pies from Gizdich Ranch where we all went apple picking earlier this year.  I called them today and the conversation went like this:
-Gizdich Ranch, how can i hep you?
-Hi, I was wondering about your hours today?
-Open til 5, but did you pre-order your pies?
- Um, no...
- Then don't come 'cuz we can't help you today!
_ Can I come Friday?
- Sho' we can hep you then!  We'll be all caught up.

So we'll go down on Friday and get the real deal.  Pie that makes you want to cry.  We'll take that up to Marin on Saturday.  I don't do pie. It's the crust.  Problematic for me.  I'm no Martha.  My heart is in it, but not the scary OCD crap.

Hubby sent me this: http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/894.html

nuff said on the whole political side of turkey day.

Have a good one!

I haven't been a  very good blog reader as of late.  I check my friends' blogs, but have left many on my netnewswire subscriptions go fallow.  Ech,... tired, bored, same old same old from those i don't know?  What have I been doing with that time?  To be honest, by the time I get around to writing anything... I usually just want an effing nap. 

The only reason I'm writing right now is because I had caffeine today.  I know, I know... bad mommy.  I had such a bad morning, that when I got to the counter at Starbucks I gladly left out the "decaf" on my order of a soy peppermint mocha. 

The kids are not to blame (well, not MUCH) for how the morning went.  I just woke up in the mood of wanting soo badly to have another hour or so of peace.  I was in the brain space of, "shut up, you can do it yourself, give me minute, don't hassle me."  Of course, whenever I feel that way... well... it seems to up the whine factor.  Things got better after Big Boy and I (Honey girl was promptly stowed at school for the morning)  sat outside the Bucks and decided to go to Whole Foods for some yummy fixings for tomorrow.  For the record, the chicken today cost $12.37.

*yawn*  clearly the mocah wasn't enough.  The kidsa re now happily watching "twice Upon a Christmas" because who can say no to watching a holiday movie when they just got inundated with Christmas decorations while at the grocery store?  I think I'll take this take a deep breath and chill with them, instead of cleaning the house, doing the laundry, organizing the cupboards or even blogging.

ciao.

Hubby and I went to school with Ed Helms.  Swim team together.  Partied together a bit (I did.... Hubby didn't party too much).  It was fun seeing him on The Daily Show with John Stewart.  We'd see bits and pieces of the funny guy time to time in his reports.  Him running around a pool in Vegas in cowboy boots and speedo whooping and hollering.  Yeah, THAT'S the Ed I remember.

Well, now he's on The Office.  He has been for a while and was kind of quiet at first, but in the last two episodes... the Ed who would make me spirt pot smoke/ beer/ mixed drinks out my nose in uncontrollable laughter is back.  Tearing up a break room,  going off on other characters in vehement vengence.  But today I was near howling when he and Steve Carrel did a duet  "Is it Love?" a la Night at the Roxbury.

You go, Ed.. we Westbrooks are fans and will keep watching.

We took on a last minute adventure today that was very fun and worthwhile.  We went to the San Francisco Auto Show.  And yes, we took the train.  The kids were awesome.

I was surprised at what cars impressed me and what cars did nothing for me.  There were some I thought I would really like, and when I sat in them.. um, not so much.

The kids jumped into anything they could and were therefore EXHAUSTED after a couple hours.  Honey Girl fell asleep on the way to the train, and Big Boy was a sack of potatoes on my back hitching a ride through Downtown SF back to the station.

I really liked the Acura MDX and I didn't think I would.  I've always been against the whole feel of SUVs and all the baggage.  But it was so nice inside.  It was the only SUV I've been in that didn't feel tiny and idiotic.  Well, no. I take that back... I liked the Land Rovers too.  But who wouldn't?  Those babies are hot.

I didn't like the Mini!  I was floor at myself as I sat behind the wheel and thought, " Huh... not like I thought it would be.  At all."  I was overwhelmed with the cute factor.  It didn't feel as big inside as I thought it would.  Also, we had to keep warning Big Boy "watch your legs!" whenever he hopped form mini to mini and wanted to sit in the back...... I wouldn't dare call it a back SEAT, I had a bigger back seat in my CRXsi.  I still think they are hot from the outside, and would gladly take a ride.. with someone who can tell where the front of it is from the driver's seat. ;-)

I was really surprised by this... both Hubby and I really liked the Scion xB!  I know!  little boxy funky street customizer looking thing.  I was laughing at myself as I was sitting in it and enjoying the interior and feel and how ROOMY the dang thing was.  Also with all the options, you can make it look pretty sweet for a time to time "family car" but mostly grown up car.  And it's so effin' affordable.  We joked about finally offing the nissan and getting a Scion as a replacement.

I could go on about other cars we played around in, and how I had to explain to a very very sad and upset Big Boy that if the sticker price is over 80K, they keep the doors locked on it... sorry kiddo!  But you should have SEEN the dealer's faces when  Big Boy was yanking and yanking on the carerra's driver side door and nearly hanging from it with all his weight trying to get in.  hi-larious.  there are some things as a parent you kind of let your kids do juuuuust to torture people who by their own nature have  bugs up their asses.... and I did let Big boy do that because I Looooooved watching them squirm.  Just like when I let the kids stomp around in muddy puddles on rainy days and people look on in horror.. they'll get DIRTY!  God forbid!  heh heh heh But I digress.....

There was a really cool scooter thing both Big Boy  and Honey Girl played on for a while.  It was some kind fo perpetual motion thing that they sat on on and just by wiggling the handle bars could go on and on.  It was the first wheeled thing Honey Girl has ever shown interest in, and took to it like a duck to water.  I keep trying to get her into trikes or something she needs to petal, but she's not buying into it at all.  So I was tempted to find them online til the tradeshow guy said $70/ea or $120 for 2.  Um.. yeah buddy...  see ya!

There was one thing about the day that was decidedly NOT cool.  Honey Girl was gassy.  Gassy as in... silent but deadly gassy.  It happens, we all know this, but OMG.... it was embarrassing.  I mean, we would be getting out of a car and I would have an urge to guard the car from others entering until the smell cleared.  On the mini I opened the sunroof and fanned for a bit.  I mean, Geese Honey Girl... what did you EAT that would do this to you?  We got no relief.  Nothing in the diapers all day.  Make a move Honey Girl... spare us from the stink!  Mommy loves you very much and I don't want you to be mad that I wrote this about your gassy day at the auto show.. but I caught the looks from some folks... the "Umm... I think she has a diaper..." looks.  It. was. bad.  Funny, mind you.... but bad.

I'm going through another phase of being so done with my long hair.  I go through this about once every month or two months.  Been this way for about the last year or so.  I get done with the tie it up, twirl it up, twirl it back, tuck it behind the ears, brush it, spritz it.  I hate the big balls of hair in the tub after I shower, I hate raking it off the floor every time I clean the bathroom, or the downstairs.  I don't like my kids saying "Mommy hair!" when they find something tangled in the weave of their shirts. 

The truth of it is I've loved my hair short.  BUT I have always HATED growing it out again.  The in between phases are just so very fugly.  Also when hair is cut short, there's more upkeep to keep it looking good.  As in, keeping it short.  I'd need to actually be better about getting it cut.  I've not been so good at this in the past... 5 years.

But it's really just what will make me feel "pretty", right?  Guess the jury is still out.

Hmmmm. whatcha think?

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/

"what really makes us happy?"

People are bad knowing what will make them happy.  Money does not make people happier.  IT does when moving someone form abject poverty to middle class, but the happiness quotient gets lower and lower after that.  Now.... I'd love to test out that theory!  I mean, I know I wouldn't be "happier", but hell, we sure would be a lot more travelled and entertained!  We;d have more artwork, some musical instruments in the house, no worries about paying for education.... THAT would make me happier.  Here were some of the other findings and my smurky side comments.  I'm posting this because Honey Girl is taking a completely unexpected nap on the couch.  As Tonya says, "Huzzah!"

Age brings happiness.  The happiest people are married men 60-69.  I could go on about this finding, but will hold back out of respect for my male-counterparts and their standing in society. ;-)

education makes us happy.  People with college degrees are happier than high school grads.  I wonder which comes first here, the chicken or the egg?  Those I know who dropped out, GEDed or never wanted college were never happy to begin with.

Religion makes us happy.  Of course!  Feeling like you have a secret truth about life, the universe and everything is very reassuring and therefore leads to feeling dang skippy.

Sun belt people are happier.  I guess so, but MAN how I DO love the rain!  We still dream of living in WA.  The most miserable I've ever been was when I lived in very sunny places.

Married people are happier than singles.  They really should say Happily married people.  But gotta say, I'm happy... quite so, and I am married.  But I do give Hubby a lot of credit for that.  But when I was single I remember a married couple who married young hanging out with us singles.  They were very happy and joked about the circus they witness at every "singles-type function".  It is a lot of work to be single.  Maybe that's what this gets at.  When at a bar and grill or seeing a couple clearly on their first few dates, I do hold Hubby's and thank him for rescuing me from that painful experience.  He smiles and thanks ME too.  But then again.. it is sad to see old couples sitting with clearly nothing to talk about.... but that's another story.

Republicans are  happier than Democrats, who are happier than Independents. ( is this still true?)  My thought on this is :Ignorance sure can be blissful, and Independents seem to be the most thinking and aware of the political bunch.  Being aware of how things are can be a bit of a downer.. unlike the first party named above...  but enough down talking here...

Single parents with kids under the age of 18 are the least happy. Well, shi-it.... when tired, scraping, fighting, doing your damndest to do your best every hour of every day for your family and still being tagged with such a derrogatory term... of course that would bum one out. 

Oh, and married couples without kids are happier than married couples with kids.  Now, I do take exception to this.. just because we are tired and grumpy and broke  does NOT mean we are not as "happy" overall!!  Now, gotta go... Honey Girl is stirring and I need to feed her, get Big Boy and take him to the dentist...

I am on Michael Moore's mailing list.  No, I am not a raging left winger.. but neither is he.  I am quite proudly liberal.  I have found conservatives to be hugely "BIG GOVERNMENT" and I sure as hell am not.  Since this past election I have not had an urge to gloat the shift in government, but I am happy to get a big "Thank you, America" from much of the international community.  As I said before my standing as a democrat is shaky and I state without embarrassment that I did, in fact, vote for a quite a few republicans in the last election.  I can see this next presidential election being a very very interesting one, and look forward to actively listening to both sides.  It is beautiful to see the parties going through a bit of shake down, isn't it?  Seeing as I no longer vote on party lines... dare I say I am an Independent?  Ok, Melanie.. when do I get my card in the mail????

Anyway.... I was so happy to read this letter from Michael Moore today as I felt it said eloquently how I have been feeling.  It is a might bit cheeky... but a good read about the morals and ethics of the change in government...

A Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives

November 14th, 2006

To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,

I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week's election. You're worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don't want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.

Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power -- and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.

Thus, here is our Liberal's Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:

Dear Conservatives and Republicans,

I, and my fellow signatories, hereby make these promises to you:

1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.

2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.

3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.

4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.

5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.

6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.

7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.

8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.

9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.

10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.

11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism -- starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.

12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.

I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans -- and for the rest of the world.

Signed,

Michael Moore

Thank God Horatio Sans is gone. 

So far this season I have laughed at many of the skits, the music guests have been good.  Last week Beck kicked it and this week I have to give a hats off to Christina Aguilara, more on that later.

This weekends, I just watched on TiVo because I fall alseep so early these days... was great with cameos.  Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan, Steve Martin, Matin Short, Tony Benet, and Paul McCartney (who was jokingly called Paul Simon).  Alec Baldwin did a great job hosting.  The straight faced comedian.  He wond some respect form me for doing a talk show parady where he was Tony Benet and his guest was "Anthonio Bennetto" (the actual Tony Benet who kept cracking up the whole time).  Mr. Baldwin played it through and held it together really well.

But I have to say;  I was really very impressed with Christina Aguilara.  We all have known her to be that teeny young thing with the bad make up and bad outfits.  She was doing the hip hop pop thing up against the likes of Brittany Spears and cancelled lots of shows due to illness.

I always enjoyed her voice.  Being the classical trained freak I am, I heard in her something really great, but felt so bad she was singing herself to death.  Her voice is wonderful, rich and complex and she has great skill.  I wondered what she was going to prove and how long it would last.  Then she went away for a while.  The time away did her wonderful good.

Tonight I watched and while I usually fast forward through musical guests on SNL (performances and sound quality are usually pretty bad), I watched and was happily impressed.  Not that I will buy a ticket for her next show; I'm too old for "that crowd", but I found myself thinking "go, girl!  Sing it!"  She's grown up.  She's found her base, she sounds more secure.  She's owning it.  At the end of the show she did a duet with Toni Bennet.  Suffice it to say she owned that duet.  She played, she showed off her voice without showing off...She had grace and poise.

I kept saying, "I'm just always so surprised such a big voice can come from such a tiny little thing!"  But honestly, not that surprised.  In opera programs I did there was always a little bitty body with a "HOLY WOW" voice in the crowd.  I saw Paul McCartney lean over to her at the end of the show and congratulate her.  Yeah, her hair is still bodacious and her make up good for an Opera House back row to stage view... but gotta say.  Props to you, lady.

As I just wrote, Honey Girl and Big Boy are now mostly sharing a room.  I say mostly because her dresser is still in her old room with the still intact crib.  Some eventual weekend we'll be moved to move it out etc, but not just yet.

We have had a couple nights of Hubby making trips upstairs to re-stow the kids.  One night I was laughing and said, "Watching you do this just might makeup for alllll those middle of the night diaper changes and breast feedings!".  He gave me a very polite kind of a chuckle or snarfle....actually it may have a been a dismissive grunt... I could tell he was not impressed running up two flights of stairs to take care of this.  But hey, I found it kind of funny ;-)

The kids are being funny goofy kids.  We find them standing next to each other gazing out the window well past bedtime, talking about what they see.  Or Big Boy will come downstairs and announce that Honey Girl slept in his bed for a little bit and that's "a true story!" Or Big Boy will announce she Honey Girl is dancing in circles in the room "for no reason".  Honey Girl will come down and simply say "But, Mommy?" as if I have already started lecturing her.

But the funniest thing *so far* was Friday night.  The kids were giddy and Honey Girl was being put back in bed a couple times.  Hubby was on "back to bed duty",  and she seems to be testing him more than me in this regard at the moment.  He had already made some trips up the stairs that night.

This trip took a while.  He came back down the stairs after a few minutes stiffing a laughing fit.

Hubby went upstairs to find Honey Girl in her fleece footie jammies scrambling around in the pitch dark in the bathroom trying to get a cup of water!  She had managed to get to the stepping stool and to the toilet (to stand on, the stepping stool isn't tall enough for her to reach the tap!)  and found the cup, and had turned on the tap.  Of course she didn't do this quietly... that's what alarmed us downstairs.

"[Honey Girl] what are you doing??!?" asks Hubby
"[Big Boy] wanted a glass of water!" She says in toddler speak that more likely resembled, "Mo-gin he un-un a gwass water me get... him!"

Hubby paused for a minute and quickly looked into the bedroom where Big Boy was doing a very convincing act of being completely asleep.  But not convincing enough because he was hiding completely under his covers.. something he never does.

"[Big Boy]  don't get your sister in trouble by telling her to get you water,  ok?"
"ooooohhhhh-kayyyyy." Big Boy relents. But then quickly adds, "But I was asking her to get the glass of water for YOU, Daddy!  Don't you want some water???"

"Daddy want whaadur??" Honey Girl asks, turning back toward the bathroom...she was quickly detoured back to the kids' room.

Honey Girl made her way back to her bed feeling sad that she had failed in her mission as servant to the Big Brother.  Big Brother realized his gig was up.  I  think that was the last trip upstairs that night.  We're going to have a to keep an eye on this funny servitude stuff.  It's hilarious.